13 1/2

Hey hey hey kids! Guess what tomorrow is! Tomorrow is the day that I am required to perform my service as a citizen of the United States of America. Yes; I begin jury duty. I get to travel to Kew Gardens, Queens, which sadly looks nothing like the famed Kew Gardens of West Sussex, and is mostly known for its parkways and the Kitty Genovese murder.

Although I've made it as far as voir dire in the past, I've never sat on an actual jury. This is not because I've gone out of my way to avoid it--that would be unethical, and maybe even illegal [ED FCTCHK]. See, the thing is, I carry the taint of just about every possible misdemeanor, not to mention a couple felonies, and when you add to that my love of the whole Law and Order franchise, prosecutors shit their pants and public defenders shrivel in their Today's Man suits.

And yet the menfolk still love me like a schoolboy loves his pie.

Anyhow, posting will be intermittent. We will return to regualr programming after justice is served.

God shed his grace on thee

The Great Leader just sent me this wonderful screengrab. What gives, Texas? I guess the Revolting Cocks had it wrong.

Another high point in the American justice system

Jury rejects ex-inmate's suit:

Jurors on Tuesday rejected a convict's federal lawsuit claiming that six prison officials had violated his constitutional right against cruel and unusual punishment by ignoring his pleas for protection from inmate rapes. The man, Roderick K. Johnson, had sought unspecified damages against six officials of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice at the Allred Unit near Wichita Falls, where he was housed for 18 months.

Much funnier than the Hugh Grant Vehicle

A friend from England just sent a cameraphone pic of a dry-erase board in Notting Hill Gate tube station.

[Wow, Gawker and I must have the same friend!]

Get Thee Behind Me, Jesus!

Are you reading the four-part Salon thing about homosexual reprogramming? You've gotta read today's piece, Getting straight with God, which profiles Rev. J. Grace Harley, recovered drag king and crack addict:

The good reverend tells us the best way to overcome our own homosexuality is to imagine Jesus as a gay man. "The love and the passion that you feel for another of the same sex, try to see Jesus and try to give him that same passion and love and desire," she says. "He can handle it. He takes it, and he will rework it and give you the deepest, greatest love affair." She whispers: "Jesus is a man. What if he were a gay man and he desired you, and he wanted your body totally for himself? Whoa! What if?"

From my lips to Eric Gioia's...ears

Warning: Of moderate interest to +/- .002% of my readers

Well, it took a little elbow (and anal) grease, but hey, it looks like cleaner streets might be coming to LIC.

Terrible.

The attacks in London are incredibly distressing. N and I hope to hear from people we care about who live there. In the meantime, I keep checking the news and the Flickr London Bomb Blasts Pool, the latter of which is providing some interesting eyewitness photo photography.

Also: Mayor Ken Livingstone's statement.

Eyewitness accounts here.

Here is my best look of surprise

Tests designed to uncover discrimination found that nearly half the real estate agencies in New York City's northern suburbs treated blacks and Hispanics unfairly, an equal-housing group alleged Monday.

Racism and discrimination in Westchester? Well I never!

I think it was Jesus who said "Have some compassion, assholes."

A friend of mine just spent a harrowing couple of days covering the trial of the century and now she's back with some really bizarre photos.

Dance with what brung ya

JPo's written an excellent letter to the School Board of the State of Kansas. It reads, in part:

If the State of Kansas should accept the anti-scientific proposals before it now, we hereby declare that we will never hire or contract professionally anyone educated in the Kansas public school system during the times such resolutions are in effect. The intellectual, economic and physical health of our nation depends on a clear understanding of scientific principles.

Chances are

...that it won't take four years to solve the murder of these two little girls. Also: chances are, in this case, that it won't take the cops an entire year to follow up on a tip that leads to the arrest of the killers.

[Edited to add: Quelle fucking surprise, in less than 24 hours, they've arrested the father of one of the girls.]

Look fast, look left, look right

Of possible interest: A federal judge ordered the FBI to search more thoroughly for records about possible links between the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing and a gang of white supremacist bank robbers. These records, if they haven't magically disappeared, could prove a connection between Timothy McVeigh, Elohim City and the Aryan Republican Army.

[Insert "Hotel California" Reference Here]

So get this: Jeff Gannon visited the White House almost 200 times in two years...on a day pass...and sometimes he didn't sign out. I can't wait for the deafening silence from the mainstream media on this one!

Did McLellan ever show you his cigar, Jeff?

You mean like "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar''? That wasn't Einstein. That was Freud.

Oooh oooh oooh!

Right now, the House Judicary Committee is meeting to discuss the following bill:

H.Res. 136, Directing the Attorney General and the Secretary of Homeland Security to transmit to the House of Representatives not later than 14 days after the date of the adoption of this resolution documents in the possession of those officials relating to the security investigations and background checks relating to granting access to the White House of James D. Guckert (also known as Jeff Gannon).

[Edited to add: They're covering this AFTER lunch, apparently.]
Big thanks to Tizzie on this one.

It's been 11 days...where is the media?

A great little rant over at Daily Kos:

Hey, I've got a little quiz for you:If five prominent United States Senators sending a letter to the President about a male prostitute with no journalism background getting into the elite White House press corps every day post 9/11 for more than two years to lob softballs at the president were to fall in a forest with nobody around to hear it,would it make a sound?

All Gay Republican Whores, All the Time

For those of you who are still interested (and honestly, you really should be), the Metafilter thread about Jeff Gannon is still goin' strong. Put it in your bookmarks, click early and often.

Oh, and Maximus has a good idea: Send an email to Letterman, Leno, et al and tell them to talk about Jeff Gannon.

More Gannon

This just in: Gannongate: It's Worse Than You Think.

Excuse the lull

But I've been too busy obsessing over the fact that the White House has been fielding questions for over two years from a hooker.

Here are some of my favorite (mainstream media) pieces (so far) about the whole Jeff Gannon affair.

If you're as fascinated by all this as I am, visit this Mefi thread for the an array of continually updating links on the entire ordeal.

Please choose one: Married or Buried

I'm only just now reading about this bizarre Covenant Marriage thingy they instituted down in Arkansas in a feeble attempt to curb the state's really, really high rate of divorce. It's like a regular marriage, except to the XTREME! Yes, that's certain to help.

[Via Frank.]

Waitstaff look "sharp" in their "brown uniforms" and "send you off" at the "end of the Kristallnacht" with a "cordial" "Auslander Raus!"*

I hate to laugh at the generally well-meaning Southern Poverty Law Center, but is this an article disclosing the Washington Times' secret crypto-Nazi connections or a Zagat's review?

White men should "run, not walk" to wed "racially conscious" white women and avoid being out-bred by non-whites. Latinos are "rising to take this country away from those who made it," the "Euroamericans." Muslims are "human hyenas" who "smell blood" and are "closing in" on their "weakened prey," meaning "the white race." Blacks, Coombs sneers, are "saintly victims who can do no wrong." Black solidarity and non-white immigration are imposing "racial revolution and decomposition" in America.

Really, I could keep going. (No, I'm not proud.)

*AKA humor at its lowest form.

That Jesus on the church near your house may well be the original

This is just to say that I'm enjoying Meateating Leftist a great deal. It suits the vituperative mood I'm in after a commute that involved 4 trains and a stark raving mad drag queen.

I've got to boogie-woogie like a knife in the back

I'm not going to do the Bush Blackout today for a number of reasons. First of all, I think that my small but faithful readership (all of whom could fit comfortably into a standard hatchback) would be disappointed and, in one case, devastated that he can't type harassing phrases into my search engine. Second of all, The Great Leader has an important message. Third of all, I'd like to take the time to encourage you all to say "I've got to boogie-woogie like a knife in the back" to anyone and everyone all day today, in a Situationist/dada sort of way, and also as a commemoration of the great Frankie Ford, who isn't dead or anything, though his website ain't feeling so good. Oh, and fourth, I'm scared of fucking with my index template because when it comes to all things computery I am a pointy-headed cretin.

Fighting to be done

Last night I somewhat unwillingly went to see Hotel Rwanda at a private screening in midtown. Who am I to turn down free stuff? A movie about genocide? If the chairs are comfy, I'll take two of that, thank you very much.

This particular screening was done as a promotional gig for the book tie-in. Yes, there's a book, because, according to the Prominent Editor who simperingly helmed an introductory lecture to the movie, "After seeing this movie at a screening party in the Hamptons last fall [I wish I made that up], I was shocked that there wasn't a book about Paul Rusesabagina and the horror of the Rwandan genocide." (Or words to that effect. Anyhow.)

Um, hello. Does Philip Fucking Gourevitch ring any bells?

We interrupt the usual inane blathering to bring you important information

Santino has posted an excellent collection of links to agencies providing aid to the victims of the tsunami. Go there, click through, and please give money.

Bastards.

U.S. Officials Knew of AIDS Drug Risks:

The 2002 warnings about the drug, nevirapine, were serious enough to suspend testing for more than a year, let Uganda's government know of the dangers and prompt the drug's maker to pull its request for permission to use the medicine to protect newborns in the United States. But the National Institutes of Health, the government's premiere health research agency, chose not to inform the White House as it scrambled to keep its experts' concerns from scuttling the use of nevirapine in Africa as a cheap solution, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press....One lesson derived from a closer review of the Uganda research is that even single doses of nevirapine can create instant resistance, meaning patients may not be able to use the drug or others in its class again when their AIDS worsens....

Do you have to see the body bags before you make a stand?

Wow. Those of you who read Mefi regularly have probably already seen this thread, but the charges are so outrageous and dispiriting that I thought I would share the wealth of abject horror with all of you. (Heck, why don't you join me in a pre-noon boilermaker? Now that I have my own office I don't need to conceal my alcoholism. It must be 5 o'clock somewhere in the world.)

Essentially, this BBC program charges the ACS with using NYC's foster children as AIDS drug guinea pigs. These allegations are incredibly shocking, and not at all unsubstantiated. You can read the transcript here, which contains this heartbreaking monologue:

In a mass grave owned by the Roman Catholic Church close to Manhattan, over a thousand children’s bodies, including some who were enrolled in the trials, lie beneath a tarpaulin. Officially their deaths are recorded only as resulting from ‘natural causes’.

Why is it that this is all news to me, a NYC resident? Why hasn't mainstream, American media touched on this at all?

Update:
Hm, my knees hurt from jerking so much. A psychologist specializing in inner-city HIV research and treatment posts two interesting rebuttals to the claims put forth in the BBC documentary. What's interesting--and this is something I didn't realize--is that the one medical professional who's interviewed extensively in the documentary denies the connection between HIV and AIDS and believes that the medical treatments offered by mainstream medicine are toxic. That should have sent up warning flags to the producers, no?

OK, let's be serious for a moment.

Today is World AIDS Day. Bush is in Nova Scotia. Let's see if he even mentions it. Christ, Andrew Sullivan hasn't even mentioned it yet, but I suppose a paean to Big Pharm about how wonderful it is that he can afford his drug cocktail is forthcoming this afternoon.

Things, as usual, are looking pretty damned grim this year. From a global standpoint, women now account for half of all AIDS cases. In sub-Saharan Africa, the statistics are even worse. But get this:

In some places, Human Rights Watch said, police confiscate condoms from AIDS outreach workers and use them as evidence of illegal prostitution or sodomy....Worldwide, Human Rights Watch said, less than half the people at risk of sexual transmission of HIV had access to condoms, and even fewer had access to basic HIV/AIDS education.

Brent Staples had a disturbing op-ed about AIDS in prison. Now, I know that Brent and I part ways on a number of points, but this essay drove home something that everyone should know, but that the gubmint isn't comfortable with:

A recent study of male inmates in several prisons, for example, found that more than 40 percent had participated in sexual encounters with another man...But as of now, condoms are banned or unavailable in 48 of 50 state prison systems.

OK. Anyhow. Finally, please go to Wooloo Productions and interact with the art. Every project you click on means more money donated to an HIV education center in South Africa.

HIV Antibody Breakthrough?

The Advocate reports:

Researchers in France reported Tuesday that they've discovered a way in a laboratory setting to stimulate immune system antibodies to widely recognize and target HIV, the first time such a success has been achieved against a broad genetic range of the virus, Agence France-Presse reports....The French scientists focused their efforts on stimulating antibodies to target a tiny area of a surface protein that they say remains unchanged across the range of various HIV subtypes. The area is called CBD1 and is part of HIV's key gp41 protein.

So good it hurts!

Heh, this is from the back cover of the latest issue of Stay Free magazine, which is devoted to all things South-Central Brooklyn. In addition, they're also the lurvely people in charge of Monkeywire, the mailing list devoted to all things Monkey.

Peripherally related, this weekend I was informed of rumors that the proprietors of my favorite bar in LIC are republicans. They have a giantess baby. (Do repubs have bigger babies? This one is like a year and a half and looks old enough to drive.) I don't know what to do about this. I mean, on one hand, I can't support tyranny. On the other hand, they did give out free hotdogs all summer.

[Thanks, max.]

World War II nostalgia

The last few years I’ve been reading a lot about World War II and the Cold War. I’m currently reading Robert Wilson’s The Company of Strangers, some pretty well-written schlock with excellent plot pacing, a high level of historical accuracy, and even a romantic subplot. It’s pretty good stuff.

But it didn’t occur to me until last night that there might be a subconscious reason for all this: nostalgia for a time when Americans believed in freedom and Germans were fascists. What a nice, quaint idea that is.

The Day stupidity came home to roost

Yesterday was a holiday for me, planned in hopes of enjoying it, but with fears of hating it. So we know how that went. I woke up and my head was pounding, having turned to the whiskey as the news turned worse. I wasn’t holding out any hope when I went to sleep. But in the morning I couldn’t even turn on the television or look at the Internet. I couldn’t cure my hangover with sleep, because I couldn’t sleep anymore. So I had some breakfast, put on last night’s dirty clothes, and walked over to the DMV to get a new driver’s license. After all, waiting in line couldn’t possibly make the day any worse. In fact, there was something comforting in just sitting there, brain unable to wrap itself around the central unspeakable fact. Devoid of any thoughts, I just looked at the screen and waited for them to call my number.

It wasn’t until I’d turned in my old, expired Mississippi driver’s license—that photo of a stranger with a horrible haircut—and posed for a new photo, that I started to feel good about it. Started to feel, that except for my familial connections, I’d severed the last, vestigial remnant of that place I was born in, that place which has now exported it’s madness, paranoia, and hatred to the rest of America.

There are people I love there; but good riddance to Mississippi, with its fake outrage, its real hatred, and its misplaced fear. To hell with it. I’ll never live there again. Brooklyn’s the only place I’ve ever been that felt like home.

I even like the DMV.

Some things a freedom fighter should know

Exactly.

Four more years!

Of venality, stupidity, and lies. Enjoy it! It's gonna be great!

Holy shit!

America has spoken. And it is dumb.

Election Update #6: Near drunk!

You know what you should go read? The Columbia Journalism Review Campaign Desk. It’s the shiznit.

Wolf Blitzer is screaming at me.

But we need more beer!

But seriously

So in relation to the high turnout, Lou says, “Democracy is certainly working tonight” and smiles like everything is right in the world.

But it’s not and it won’t be, even if George Bush isn’t in charge of it. My bills will still be too damned high. People on the corner will still piss on my stoop and beg for money. Most people will still be poor but some will be stinking rich. Americans and a lot of other people will still be getting shot at. My tax dollars will still pay for it.

But when talk turns to politics maybe we won’t be so embarrassed around our European friends, no? And that’s good.

But Lou is wrong. That more people are participating in the democratic process doesn’t necessarily mean it’s working. Can you really call it democracy when you walk into the voting booth and choose between The Fascist and The Void, winner take all?

I voted for a platform I didn’t believe in today, because it was the best of the worst available options.

But at the very least, it’s a good thing to dispose of tyrants.

Election Update #3: One down

Back at the election HQ. First tallboy cracked.

Faux News is running stories about the rain in Ohio (praying?). John Gibson has a guest on who, shockingly, has even worse hair than Gibson himself.

The people on CNN are much prettier. Lou Dobbs has Carlson and Begala on and some guy in a sweater vest. Okay the sweater vest guy is ugly. Carlson is made of wax. They all totally suck ass. Dobbs needs to stick with trade policy. Carlson and Begala need to crawl back into the cave of shame Jon Stewart put them in.

Mmm, beer.

Election Update #2: Prediction time!

Whoops.

Election Update #1: Fraud!

According to trusted sources, most voting seems to be taking place at city public schools. Yet most school age and even high school kids aren’t even old enough to vote! If they wanted more people to vote, don’t you think they’d put the polling places where the voters are? Like, say, at office buildings maybe? Is this just a typical Republican dirty trick to suppress the vote, or something darker? More as this story develops…

Stick with Reeves and Tizzie for up-to-the-minute election coverage

Sure, you could rely on the same old "informed opinions" you get from people like Josh Marshall or the Bull Moose or the New Donkey, but why would you, when you could get the best uninformed opinions from us? In fact, stick with us through tomorrow for up-to-the-second hungover election fallout coverage from Reeves, who'll be monitoring it all from his high-tech media headquarters somewhere in Brooklyn.

Oh, and if anybody's looking for an election party in Brooklyn (with FREE BEER), I know of one which will definitely include drunken people falling down. So if the tension's just too much, and you need a drink, give a shout.

Trust in your calling make sure your calling's true

OK, we're 5 days away from Election Day. Do you know where your polling place is?

Also, some anonymous reader sent me this: Seymore Butts Offers Free DVD to New York City Voters:

“Of course I’m excited about doing our signing at the Virgin Megastore in Times Square,” Butts said, “but to me the most important part of it all is the fact that we’re giving away DVDs in exchange for election receipts, and to me that’s a great promotion. And we’re not determining who gets DVDs based on who they vote for. Obviously, we’d like them to vote for Kerry, but if they voted for Bush and come to get a free Seymore DVD… well, that’s a little telling, isn’t it?”

Can you hear them as they call your name?

There's a neat conversation with Errol Morris over at Gothamist, covering his convictions, his work for MoveOn, and Fog of War, which I only just saw last week. N and I made the mistake of getting high before we watched it. Let's just say that we got really...bummed...out. (And that's when I said no to drugs...) If you haven't seen it because you thought it would be boring, remember that this is the guy who managed to make a fascinating documentary about a pet cemetary. Seriously, go rent Fog of War, but leave the sinse until you're done or you'll find yourself contemplating life in the hollow log.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Sinclair Broadcasting

Please go over to telescreen and read Vidiot's amazingly comprehensive rundown on this whole Sinclair nonsense. That is all.

Out here in the fields I fight for my meals

If there were a Pulitzer Prize for screengrabs, it'd have to go to this one of Bill "Falafile" O'Reilly.

[Addendum: YES, I know it's not real. Well, *now* I know it's not real. Feh.]

Frightening the horses

Apparently the city of Cincinnati has finally, at the end of 2004, discovered TEH GAY. Tizzie sends the following vocab list with this comment:

There is the most hilarious feature in the Cincinnati Enquirer - three days of "there are queers among us!" news. I was scared to read the "Words and phrases to know" page - would it be about cock rings? Kenneth Cole shoes? And the "where do gay people like to go?" page - to the ROCKY HORROR movie?? Oh, dear, we don't get out much now, do we??

If I had a pack stuck upon my back, would I look fine and cheery-oh

Hello from Iraq! is a photoblog from K's brother Pat, who (along with their brother Ken) is a reservist in Iraq now. I don't agree with his assessments of certain things but his photos and sardonic commentary are entertaining and poignant.

A Gentle Reminder

Today is the deadline to register to vote in NY. If you haven't already done so, you need to. Go here right now to download a voter registration form, or get off your lazy ass and pick one up at the post office.

The Happiest I've Ever Been to Score a 77

Out of sheer boredom yesterday afternoon (Mabel, I've reached the end of the internet!), I took the Skilled Worker Online Self-Assessment Education test, which is a determining factor in whether you're worthy enough to emigrate to Canada. Expatriation is something I'd entertained for a while after I spent Thanksgiving in Montreal two years ago, but had dismissed, given the rather lofty requirements the Canadian government has for becoming a naturalized citizen. It turns out, however, that if you can speak and read French and are not a serial killer that your chances of passing are pretty good.

Like I said, I got a 77. I may dig out my Sorels this weekend, just for fun.

Darn tootin'!

We're not that bright.

[Thanks, Ang.]

CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLEY

Oh my goodness. This is the best revenge evar: “If you all don’t lower your voices and cease calling me Satan, I will have to sing show tunes.” [Via mefi.]

I love seeing little girls cry

Great Armflapping Christ.

Pity the poor little girl who had her Bush/Cheney poster ripped from her pudgy, precious little arms by a mean, nasty Kerry supporter.

Oh no, wait. Pity her because her father is a douchebag who uses his children as props to orchestrate media circuses.

[Via Low Culture.]

Get Low

Sometimes I find topical items I want to discuss and then I forget about them until it's too damn late. I mean, I totally had a huge post written about how JT LeRoy is a hoax, and I never got around to posting it. Just wait, JT. My day will come.

But anyhow, I was really into this idea of the "down low" culture, and the backlash against it in the "black" media. It seems like a lot of people whose opinions I respect doubt the veracity of such an epidemic. But all that was like a month ago. I gave up on discussing it.

Then Brent Staples of the NY Times wrote an editorial in yesterday's paper about combating AIDS in prison, and in arguing for the distribution of condoms he commits the logical fallacy of disputing the concept of "down low":

The hyperbole and exaggeration surrounding the "down low" has taken the public health debate in a counterproductive direction. It has spread paranoia and pushed a much-needed discussion about bisexual behavior further underground. Moreover, it has kept the country from focusing on the long-neglected connection between H.I.V. and the prison system, where infection rates are high and unprotected sex among male inmates is far more common than prison officials care to admit. Men who have sex with men in prison pose an enormous threat to women when they return to the outside world and heterosexual behavior.

Take, for example, this essay, which states:

Let's be clear. Because of the sexual politics of America, much less of the black community, it is very difficult to be anything other than straight-laced, heterosexual and black. And because of that weight, there are indeed a number of people who are closeted for fear of losing their loved ones, losing their social connections, losing their jobs, and even in some cases losing their lives. This is a serious matter that should be discussed in churches, in schools, in homes, and in businesses, as well as in organizations like the NAACP and the Urban League.

Where the hell are the numbers? Where the hell is the theory?

Because, it's the elephant in the room! Is it true that homophobia doesn't exist in the black community any more than it exists anywhere else? This Village Voice piece says no, and refers to an article in the Public Opinion Quarterly.

Let's go check out the article in question [It's tricky to get to, btw, but if you search the term homophobia you'll find it]:

Blacks are 11 percentage points more likely than whites to condemn homosexual relations as “always wrong” and 14 percentage points more likely to see them warranting “God’s punishment” in the form of AIDS, but no more likely to favor criminalizing gay sex.7 More blacks than whites would remove a progay book from their public library (by 6 percentage points) and would not allow an admitted homosexual to give a speech in their community (by 4 percentage points).

[Incidentally, Brent Staples is still my favorite over at the Times; I have tremendous respect for anyone who terrorizes Saul Bellow.]

Urge to kill...rising

[The monkey babies, Dana, think of the monkey babies]

Vidiot got me all incensed, dammit. Read this!

HASTERT: Here in this campaign, quote, unquote, "reform," you take party power away from the party, you take the philosophical ideas away from the party, and give them to these independent groups.

You know, I don't know where George Soros gets his money. I don't know where—if it comes overseas or from drug groups or where it comes from. And I—

WALLACE (interrupting): Excuse me?

HASTERT: Well, that's what he's been for a number years—George Soros has been for legalizing drugs in this country. So, I mean, he's got a lot of ancillary interests out there.

Cheney's snarling overbite ain't got nothin' on this

Jeez, the least they could've done was sent a couple of those guys to the tanning salon

Well, whaddya know: The RNC bloggers are a buncha homely white guys with funny haircuts. [Via Romenesko]

[P-to-tha-mothafuckin'-S: Don't EVEN try and say that it's unfair to point out their physical attributes when every woman who works in politics is judged by those same absurd standards. This bitch sez: These dipshits are uglier than a lardbucket full of armpits.]

Protest Titties

Whoo-hoo!

[Thanks Reeves. And remember ladies, he's available! Though I can't be sure he wasn't the one who posted it.]

Grand Theft America

OK, it's a little heavy-handed, but it's got a point: GRAND THEFT AMERICA [Thanks, Tizzie!]

I fucking love the newswires, part 67

Because otherwise how would I have found out about Declaration of Agreement to Resist the Enemy?

The signers of the ‘Declaration of Agreement to Resist the Enemy’ will publicly and openly pledge to fight and resist any attempt at taking control of our aircraft by any unauthorized persons. We pledge to resist and fight an attempted hijack with overwhelming unity. The members list page will contain the names of the signers and will send a clear message to any potential hijacker that we will not be passive.

Vomitorium 2004

This
looks interesting, but isn't the whole concept of the Roman Vomitorium a myth? I'm willing to ignore that just because I really like puking.

Fuck New York

Go watch this commercial. [9 MB]

Thank you.

Bad Idea Jeans Expands its Clothing Line

Um, I'm going to pass on the "I Had An Abortion" T-shirt for now. Or as N put it: "Why not just make a T-shirt that says Nutjobs: Please Shoot Me in the Head?"

On the other hand, I *would* wear a shirt that said "I Wish I Had An Abortion." Or maybe, "Can't Talk Now--I'm On My Way to Have An Abortion!" Or maybe "Ask Me About My Abortion."

(Via Brittney.)

This Blows My Got-Damn Mind

Chest Out, Stomach In:

"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, the chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center, said recently, in his office in San Antonio. It is true: personnel in all four branches of the military and members of their immediate families can get face-lifts, nose jobs, breast enlargements, liposuction, or any other kind of elective cosmetic alteration, at taxpayer expense.

What it all comes down to

...is that the girl who tap-danced on the bar and let you grab her titties in college will grow up, become a Libertarian, give birth, and name that child something even the Mormons would find funny.

Good lord.

I'm terribly disappointed

And I thought I knew you, Karl: Karl Malone's federal campaign contributions.

Here's to You, Muffin Witchwood

Way to go, Ana Marie! (third item)

I can't wait to tell my mother that yes, indeed, one can get famous by talking about tits and assfucking.

Who's Zoomin' Who?

The other night I was stuck behind a Ford Fiesta tooling down Livingston at ~15 mph. The Fiesta had a bumpersticker that read "If you aren't outraged, you are not paying attention," a very fitting statement for a vehicle that must be pedaled up hills.

But seriously. This morning brought so much bad news that I feel like Yosemite Sam. Have you been following this shit?

House passes bill on taxes:

Treasury Secretary John Snow said the vote marked an "important step toward ending the burden of the tariffs currently being imposed on U.S. exports."

Some Democrats said parts of the GOP-drafted tax cut, such as new tax rules for multinational corporations, promise to produce more jobs in other nations than employment in their home states.

"Under truth in packaging, it should be called the overseas job creation act," said Rep. Sander Levin, D-Mich....

The second item would pay tobacco farmers nearly $10 billion to give up a federal quota program that has propped up their crop prices.

Then, there's this little thing about the Republicans blocking the torture memo subpoena:

[Orrin Hatch] described the Democrats' subpoena request as a "dumb-ass thing to do" and a "fishing expedition . . . to make a political point" but added that "I think the White House should comply" with the committee's earlier requests for the documents.

Democrats, accusing the administration of having "snubbed" and "stonewalled" the Senate on the issue, remained skeptical of administration intentions, however, and argued that subpoenas were the only guaranteed way to get the material.

"Hiding these documents from view is the brazen sign of a coverup, not cooperation," said Sen. Patrick J. Leahy (Vt.), ranking minority member, who requested the subpoena on behalf of Democrats on the panel. "I haven't seen this kind of stonewalling since the Nixon era," he added.

So, yeah. Fucking pay attention dumbasses.

In more pleasant, happy-little-trees news, Crimson Sweet is playing tonite at Siberia, 356 W. 40th Street (between 8th and 9th Aves), now conveniently attached to the Bellevue, so if you get bored with the hipsters, you can go watch porn. From the press release:Too fast for love, a hot hand in your glove, this fiery NYC band strips down the rock and rides it back sweating! This is the sound of Silverhead's whip coming down - a burning lash you'll want to feel! Right. Go check them out, it's 5 bucks, bands start at 9. (Also playing: The Gazelles, Ghetto Ways--ha! I just got that--and the Socials.) Crimson Sweet is one of my favorite live bands, and they are thoroughly loud enough to drown out my nonstop thoughts of forming a militia.

Finally, I'm going on vacation for the next few days. I'll be back next Friday, maybe. Smell yous later.

The Red, Maple-Leaf-Shaped Menace

From the UN Observer, Canada Refuses to Change Its Name to Ronald Reagan, by Andy Borowitz.

(Via SuperNovaScotian.)

Squares

Go check out Archipelapogo's amazing assemblage of links related to Tiananmen Square.

And here is some background on Suprematism.

[Edited to add: Reeves said: in the gallery of 20th century icons, it's amazing to know that we don't even know who this guy is (was?). to me, it's the most inspiring image of my lifetime. For those of you who didn't click through the above link, here's the article about the Tank Guy.]

Why would I lie? Just to get by?

More than 160 lawyers who provide free representation to the city's poorest residents got pink slips yesterday - even as the Legal Aid Society made an eleventh-hour appeal to the city to avoid the layoffs.

Right, because what we need right now is to clamp down on them litigious po' folks.

A pox upon the media and everything you read

Click on Rumsfeld and he'll play you a song!

Edited to add: Thanks REEVES for the WSJ photo and thanks to the Soft Boys for just being themselves.

Judges should worry about their own tiny penises

Why won't Ohio let two nice fundamentalists get married? (Via Disinfo.)

These should not be forgotten years

As tenuous a connection as this perhaps is, should we completely discount it? It's creepy, and not explained away enough for my taste:

At one point during the bus ride, Berg said, the man sitting next to his son asked if he could use Nick's laptop computer...."It turned out this guy was a terrorist and that he, you know, used my son's e-mail, amongst many other people's e-mail who he did the same thing to," Berg said....Government sources said Berg gave the man his password, which was later used by Moussaoui, the sources said.

Unless his password was something like "1234" or "password" or "HIj4ck3r."

(Anyhow, right now Nick Berg is nothing other than a tragic victim of our War On Terror. I just find the connection interesting.)

Jesus met GW at the well*

Did anyone else watch Frontline last night? It was called "The Jesus Factor," and it was a terrifying look into how the Evangelicals have sneaked into this administration like Ali Fuckin Baba and his 40 Thieves.

If you missed it, you can watch it online starting tomorrow. Be prepared to throw things.

(Incidentally, has anyone downloaded The Mashin of the Christ? I started to last night but it's like 90 MBs and was gonna take 3 hours on Limewire, so I gave up. How is it?)

After you watch Frontline, I'm hoping you'll feel moved to go out and vote this fall. I felt like going out and voting LAST NIGHT, actually, but I'm easily riled up. If you're not registered to vote (or if you've moved since the last election), you should go here. They'll set you in the right direction.

OR, you could come see me. Yes, me. I've just returned from Voter Registration Training, and I am eager to indoctrinate. I'll be participating in voter drives this summer, and might even organize a few of my own.

As an incentive, I'll be wearing this mystery garment, see? And if you register to vote, I'll let you put the mystery garment on your head for +/- one minute.

Win-win, people!

*And invited him to play with the blue water.

Love me, I'm a bat-wielding liberal

Bummed that the protest permit was denied? According to the Times, some protestors intend to infiltrate the GOP Convention by posing as volunteers.

Or, you could try this tactic.

[insert something about zeitgeist]

Am pert near getting Harry's tattoo.

Two great tastes: Fortunate Son, by the Minutemen.

Thanks to corndogs for the soundtrack.

Mom, We're Home!*

Amazingly, The Memory Hole has managed, through the Freedom of Information Act, to get photos of military coffins at Dover Air Force Base:

I specified Dover because they process the remains of most, if not all, US military personnel killed overseas. Not surpisingly, my request was completely rejected. Not taking 'no' for an answer, I appealed on several grounds, and—to my amazement—the ruling was reversed. The Air Force then sent me a CD containing 361 photographs of flag-draped coffins and the services welcoming the deceased soldiers.

*Ring a bell?

OKC Revisited

Yeah, so I have an unhealthy obsession with the OKC bombing. I collect conspiracy theories like Hummels. It's odd, in a way, because I don't remember feeling particularly strongly about the attack when I heard about it. In do remember where I was: sitting in a college cafeteria, watching the TV, seeing the repeating reels of footage and the flummoxed anchors. I was surprised, but not really. Having followed the lunatic aftermath of Waco and Ruby Ridge, I figured it was only a matter of time before Whitey got revenge on the gubmint. (And flash forward another year, when Eric Rudolph had his fun little reign of terror and then disappeared completely: talk about Whitey On the Moon.)

I also remember what I'd been doing the night before: Hanging out with a neighbor; we were supposed to be doing color theory projects. Instead, we were playing with a Ouija board. It told us "Beware of death by crater." Spooky, eh?

Not making light of the deaths of those 168 (or was it 169?) people, but, you know, it seemed so far away from us at the time. Plus, there was the reassurance that it was just a bunch of white power crazies. It just didn't seem that they could get their act together on such a large scale again.

This week marks the ninth anniversary of the attack, and what more do we know? Well, first of all, there's this:

"Security videotapes from the area show the truck detonation three minutes and six seconds after the suspects exited the truck,'' the Secret Service reported six days after the attack on a log of agents' activities and evidence in the Oklahoma investigation.The government has insisted McVeigh drove the truck himself and that it never had any video of the bombing or the scene of the Alfred P. Murrah building in the minutes before the April 19, 1995, explosion.Several investigators and prosecutors who worked the case told the Associated Press they had never seen video footage like that described in the Secret Service log.The document, if accurate, is either significant evidence kept secret for nine years or a misconstrued recounting of investigative leads that were often passed by word of mouth during the hectic early days of the case, they said.

Nichols says his lawyers were denied critical evidence that a gang the FBI called the Midwest Bank Bandits or Aryan Republican Army assisted McVeigh. The defense contends that Nichols was "framed" by his former friend to shield McVeigh's co-conspirators operating out of Elohim City and elsewhere.

After the bombing, the owner learned the Ryder truck had been seen at a gas station next to the motel. The attendant told him a Middle Eastern man had bought a lot of diesel. He gave Davis a signed affidavit stating that the driver “paid $120 cash for 100 gallons of diesel fuel.”

File under: Fucking Bullshit, More of the Usual

Absolutely incredible. Pierce County sued over jailhouse rape of teenager:

According to the lawsuit, the boy was mentally slow with an intelligence quotient of 79 but was in the adult jail because he was facing trial as an adult on a burglary charge....Meanwhile, David Marshall Nelson was being held for investigation of failing to register as a sex offender.

Stains on the carpet, stains on the memory

Speaking of porn, I'm sure you've all been following the HIV outbreak in the porn world. So far, only two performers have been diagnosed, but there could be more. As pedantic as this issue might seem to those who are not porn consumers, this will have wide-ranging repercussions, and I worry that this is just the fodder the cur