"Drawing Restraint 9," Matthew Barney

Before all you Matthew Barney acolytes start getting all huffy about any criticism of your own personal Jim Jones, lemme set a few things straight. Me, I kinda like him. First off, he's very handsome. (I think that more former models should become artists. Frankly, I'd like it if all artists--and this includes writers--were more attractive. I think there's a prejudice against good-looking artistes, and I want it to stop. Break through that glass ceiling, pretty folks! Don't be content with merely being more successful in all other aspects of life. Grab for that brass ring and maybe you can ride that pulchritude to the Biennale.)

Second: Vaseline + perineums? What's not to like?

"Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus"

A lot of folks romanticize the South--particularly those who've never been there. It's hard not to. You have its artistic history--high lonesome sound, Flannery O'Connor, Howard Finster--and its old-fashioned religion. You have its families, seemingly all fallen gentry and rednecks who inhabit a secret world of Good and Evil and can tell stories about both. Even its geography is romantic, with its foggy mountains and hollers at one end and sinister, murky swamps with low-hanging Spanish moss on the other end--all connected by roads and highways lined by farms, truck stops, and roadside prophet churches. Waves of heat rise off the macadam.

This is Bob Dylan to Me

OK, so last night I saw one of the two NYC screenings of We Jam Econo. N noticed that I'd been quiet at dinner and almost catatonic while waiting in line at the theater. "Are you excited about the movie?" he asked. I nodded. I've been waiting for pert near two years for this documentary to come out, and much, much longer than that to see actual footage of D. Boon. (I mean, I've seen some grainy, short clips of the Minutemen performing, but never anything lengthy. And I was eager to witness Boon's legendary stage presence.)

Some could argue that this unequaled fanaticism bias probably makes me one of the least-qualified people to write an objective review, though I'd like to counter that I am very. easily. disappointed. and thus I AM AN EXCELLENT REVIEWER.