Meth offender registries: What a fucking great idea

Gorillas may be extinct by 2050

All hands brace for a rift in the space-time continuum: An entrant in Radosh's New Yorker Anti- Caption Contest is a finalist in the real deal

Vinyl Mine has The Pontiac Brothers

I had no idea the platypus was venemous

Is anyone going to the Warriors screening on Coney Island next week? I can't decide

How to assemble the Ghetto Big Mac (Apropos of nothing: I'm pretty sure this is the same McD's I used to stumble to drunkenly late at night) [Via]

Fuck you, Christopher Morris, whoever you are

Cold case squad given a kick in the ass

Two fine performances, both by cars: Shafer on the best NYT writers

A proofreading addiction? What, like there aren't any good addictions left or something?

Tomorrow Monday morning, 10 am, City Hall: The City Council's first meeting on the blackouts. Be there be there be there! And bring your brickbats

Cigarettes could slash blood-alcohol levels, making smokers drink more [Via]

Markgraf said Taddonio's sleeping disorder is not a condition that needs to be reported to the [DMV], nor would it restrict his driving... except for when, you know, he mows two girls down with HIS HUMMER

A homeless man turns in 21K worth of savings bonds and is rewarded with the princely sum of 100 whole dollars! Fuck you, humanity

Regarding this whole Amy Sohn vs. Mr. Nice Guy childcare foofaraw, I have this to say: I wish everyone in Park Slope would quit overpopulating the city with their poorly behaved "gifted" children and--in the words of local asshole Neal Pollack himself--shut the fuck up already

Everyone, say hello to Günther [Thanks N]

Even a bad taco is better than no taco

15 years later, the mystery of "Baby Hope" remains unsolved

I smell a sequel to Grizzly Man

Handy Latin Phrases

Hed of the week: Bush acknowledges racism still exists

I, too, would like an ice cream truck at my funeral, but it must play the Ghetto Ice Cream Truck song

Your penis is perfect [Thanks C]

RIP Chico (the Monkey, of course)

Something I Learned Today has Born Against! Rorschach! BURN!!! What more could an NYHC kid want?

Next cocksucker in line: A trip to the venerable Wiener's Circle

Jenny and Peter have a new installment of the Shut-In Detectives up at McSweeney's

Dash of Bitters has a limoncello recipe, a perfect do-it-yourself project for those of us who don't have maggots in our kitchen

Welcome to Queens, Borough of Douchebags Hellbent on Frying the Grid

Where does Lorrie Moore get her ideas, anyway? [Via]

Get me this

Brilliant: Keep 100 cats in your house to mask the smell of your mother's rotting corpse

What better way to honor your son's death than by painting a memorial on your Hummer? [Via]

Gen Y turns to infertility treatments, and I continue to die a little inside

Blue Ridge Gazette has a post about the dulcimer and the limberjack

Neato: Tiny chip converts paraplegic's thought into action

Will global warming wipe out California's wines? I shudder to think [Via]

Powells.com has a funny (duh) interview with Gary Shteyngart

If it's hard to grasp why disabled people need this space, WE SUGGEST: Go and break your fucking spine.

Huge repository of (mostly) 80s music videos

They really oughtta warn you about The Professor and the Madman

I'll tell you basically how to work it but will not demonstrate because launching pumpkins in Brooklyn is dangerouse. (I've learned in the worst way)

dressed for the h bomb has some sweet Nomeansno action

Won't you miss me? Couldn't you miss me at all? RIP Syd Barrett

Is it possible that the great apes are capable of communicating with us?

A HA HA HA HA HA: Fark.com members apparently opened their homes to other Fark.com members who were stranded after Hurricane Katrina. This makes their community seem beautiful and touching.

300 years' worth of complaints

Japanese ice cream

Mouse Pad Couch!

I dunno how I managed to miss this last year, but the WFMU Blog has an mp3 of my personal favorite ice cream truck jingle: Ghetto Ice Cream Truck Song

World Cup Death Watch: 63 and rising

From the Dept. of Quelle Fucking Surprise: Hate Groups Infiltrate the Military

"This really wasn't what we came to see."

Krucoff interviews Gary Shteyngart

Wednesday's dose of batshit insane, Memphis style

Jim shows us Rupert Murdoch's MySpace page

'Collyers' Mansion' Is Code for Firefighters' Nightmare

Most useful World Cup report I've seen [Via]

Tom wonders why I hate Chicago and then he sends me shit like this and I'm all like It's because you're afraid of vibrators

I hate white people's kids. And I also hate white kids' parents

Hitler cats!

Hearty congrats to Hackmuth; he's hitched!

Newsflash! Kids in upstate NY can't wait to get the fuck out of upstate NY

This made my sphincter contract. Painfully.

Why bridges are important to wildlife

Oh man, I wanna go to the Touch and Go Records 25th Anniversary show. Killdozer!

Vidiot has posted some great recipes

No, Markos, you are the "insecure, catty bitch"

Hail Satin!

Great gift for Mom!

Strange Reaction has a 1984 Fall bootleg

I'm not particularly fond of Deadwood but Heather Havrilesky gives a compelling argument: "Those that doubt me suck cock by choice!"

Jesus Christ. What year is it again?

The (un)talented Mr. Kevin Walker

NYC restaurants, organized by subway stop

Six Rules for Eating Wisely [Via Elise, who offers her critique]

After a year-long inquiry, the Commission on Safety and Abuse in America's Prisons has released its findings: Confronting Confinement

About goddamn time: U.S. Approves Cervical Cancer Vaccine. Now can we just work on making it not quite so prohibitively expensive?

I. AIN'T. BUYIN. IT.

I was Russell Crowe's stooge [Via]

Max has posted some photos from a rogue band of wheatpasting culturejammers... ladies and gentlemen, GENTRIFY BROOKLYN

Possibly the best celebrity sighting ever: Morgan Spurlock at a churrascaria

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it last night: Diamond Dave does a bluegrass version of "Jump"

Unsure whether the more disturbing aspect of this is the flashing itself or the fact that he was wearing a sarong [Someone just emailed me to point out that this guy and this guy have the same surname--Hoyt. If they are related, I wonder what the holidays are like at their house.]

Pretty much anyone who's ever lived in Brooklyn can empathize with this

There is so much that is wrong with this story that I don't even know where to begin. For instance, one man was killed, two were badly burned, and the focus is on the mother? Furthermore, how do you go about looking at fabric samples seconds after a giant blast tears through your house?

How touching.

Only one guy in the USA is a descendant of Ghengis Khan. But don't let that stop you from taking the test yourself or anything

It's what you've all been waiting for: The National Day of Slayer (and we all know that max is particularly delighted)

9/11 conspiracy theorists convene in Chicago, making things rather convenient for the NSA, I presume

Wendy McClure's tale of jukebox sadism reminds me of what I like to call my Frankie Teardrop Revenge

Tom sent me this. The description doesn't say if he's bendable or has functioning orifices. How sad

This is the cutest thing you'll see all day

As a wise man once said, In the real fourth reich, you'll be the first to go

Was the 2004 Election Stolen?

Psychic pets and landmines: Genius

Maud on the predictability of the Times' best-of lit list: ...when New Yorker readers from Connecticut make up a quarter of a jury pool, pardon me if I don’t faint from the shock of multiple ballots cast for Updike and Roth.

100 bucks to kill four people is a pretty good deal, when you think about it

Saveur has posted its entire recipe index online. Searchable, too! [Via]

He Is Risen! [Via]

Oh thank goodness the River Head is safe--for now. My favorite quote: A staircase led to a basement dressing room for dancers like Diamond, whose real name was Jennifer, and Chastity, whose real name was Chastity.

After reading this I probably could've predicted this

Football hooligans: Your time is up

I saw this guy the other day. I swear to god he had a lawnmower

Great post about the genesis of "Will the Circle Be Unbroken"

#1HS as a graph [Via]

RIP, Desmond Dekker *sniff* Here's one of my favorites: Ah It Mek

RIP Pogo, the auntie gorilla

Creative Department Douchebag [Via]

Hey Hey! The Live Ones are playing at Sin-e tonight

Spare the quarter-inch plumbing supply line, spoil the child

The VLS's schadenfreude for the whole Viswanathan debacle

The Antigeist "meets" her new neighbor, the Occasionally Naked Rabbi

Clearly a product of the ruthless marijuana lobby machine

What about a Taxi Honkometer?

Todd Levin would like A Little Privacy

If you're in Chicago tomorrow, you should go see Gary Amdahl read at the Bookslut Reading Series

RIP Lloyd Bentsen

Strange Reaction has the Dead Kennedys demo bootleg

Blue Ridge Gazette is looking for writers

This is what happens when you allow production to proof the heds [Via]

Maud just made my day: New Harry Crews book

This is totally unsurprising. The bastard douchebag sons of cunts in charge of LIC's traffic enforcement should all be impaled on rusty spires, paraded over the Pulaski Bridge, coated with the florid wax from that fucking candle factory, and dumped into the Newtown Creek. Yeah, I said it.

Rita Katz: The thinking man's Shannen Rossmiller

if you whant to get tokeder plz emale me whed number

Could the uptick in twin births be caused by bovine growth hormone in our diets?

The art of sport [Via]

"It's official. Hell has frozen over. Finland has won." (Check out the "Arockalypse" here)

Hell's Grannies!

The secret to songwriting [Via]

This may be the first example in the history of the world where sci-fi nerds get laid regularly

The Anti-Advertising Agency's Bus Stop Bench Field Report [Via]

Thanks, Tom, for sending me what might be the most disturbing article I've read today

RIP Juxtapoz publisher Fausto Vitello [Via]

Piano found on Britain's highest peak

Hm. Anyone seen Joan Jett lately?

Right, so even though abuse in the ultra-Orthodox communities has been going on (and covered up) forever, when it finally makes New York magazine, it's somehow a "Catholic-Priest [sic] Problem"

So, like, those anti-Da Vinci Code websites? They're funded by Sony Pictures

Armed men demand Champions League tickets in Paris [Thanks N]

I love to hate: You know what's great about Fall Out Boy, dude? They'd rather felch santorum from a chicken carcass than listen to Brooklyn based Pederastiofascist Proclaimers coverband Pretty Flowers.

Clearly this is the reason that Caitlin Flanagan got breast cancer

Fun fact! There are actually more than enough seats to go around in NYC's public schools--but the student population isn't evenly distributed

Strange Reaction has mp3s from the 1975 Ramones demo

Jack Shafer takes on the meth-mouth myth again

Heartonastick has posted an epic review of last night's Guns n' Roses show. Stay tuned for Part 2!

Greetings! Here is the most disturbing thing you'll read all day

Drunk monkeys mirror people [Via]

Like my friend Norma remarked, "Why would you choose society when you already have pet monkeys?"

Leather-infused vodka?

Is Stephin Merritt a racist? Is Sasha Frere-Jones an asshole? And just who is this chick accusing of "whiteness"? You be the judge

Check it out, d00d: 9/11 TO THE EXTREME!

Well whaddaya know: Adolescents who sign a "virginity pledge" and then go on to have premarital sex are likely to disavow having signed such a pledge [Via]