Interesting, how in the age of social software, so many victims of homicide leave behind these posthumous trails

I need to have a word with you

Everyone's been going on about the Arctic Monkeys like they're the second coming of The Fall and so I found some mp3s on the trusty Hype Machine the other day which I finally got around to listening to.

You know what? You're wrong. They sound like the Strokes. If Mark E. Smith had known that this is what the fruits of his labor would be compared to he would've taken better care of his teeth and gotten a job with the ministry of agriculture.

Maud works hard for her money

Victor Scott - "Happy Days" / The Elected - "Sun, Sun, Sun"

Hey, I’m back! Didya miss me? What? You thought I was dead? Ha! No such luck, mes amis. Here’s the deal: my mind and body split up for awhile (“creative differences”, y’know), but they’ve decided to give it one more try. So here I am.

There’s been a bit of a backlog in my absence, so I hope you don’t mind if we double up on the reviews for a bit until we’re caught up. And if you do, well, “tough shitty” said the kitty when the milk went dry. (That will never get old for me.) On tap today, we’ve got the amiable pop fizz of Victor Scott’s Happy Days and the flat, bland syrup of Sun, Sun, Sun by The Elected.

I would expect nothing less from someone named Ricky Ray James

Trapped miners: This year's media meme?

Greasy Neal Pollack Stuff

Neal Pollack, shut the fuck up.

Sure, it's been said before, and with better reason, but if there's anything that gets my Irish up more than some sebaceous Quincy punk spouting off about the Iraq war, it's some sebaceous Quincy punk spouting off about what a cool dad he is.

Mataviejitas!!!!: "We thought she was a homosexual, because of the strength she had."

Hey, look on the bright side...a 20-year cleanup plan might dissuade those rich folks from moving over here!

Karl Fischer and his minions will pay for this monstrosity

Surprise! Venezuelan officers spied for the US

Gawker hates Cody Franchetti but that's just because they're petit bourgeois

Meet Nasdijj, another literary fraud (who has my money)

Vinyl Mine is more than just mp3s and is very good

multiplicity, a flickr photoset [Thanks N!]

...and the sun shining on my face

I know what you're thinking. Why the long face, Rocky?* Well, cue up that Bob Seger and pass me Laura Dern's forehead, 'cos I've got a whole lotta living to do in the next few days.

That's what I'm here to talk to you about, actually. I know I've been leaving you out lately. There are the overdue reviews. There are the extraordinarily witty lagniappes to which you've become accustomed. There are the drinking photos.

Because of stuff--both good and not-so-good--that occupies me in the meatspace, I might not be around so much for the month of January. So in the meantime, some listomania.

Personally, I think Duchamp would be tickled

Funny little
interview with Martin Bengtsson, forger, smuggler, and all-around rogue [Via]

Why can't Nat'l Geo be all-bogmen, all the time?

Loompanics is going out of business! Get your guerilla warfare and tax evasion handbooks at 50% off!

"She said, this is a dangerous name."

The Shop Assistants!

Excellent piece (with mp3s) of the FBI's monitoring of MLK

See, this is the type of thing where if I had a million dollars I'd totally buy this and then run over the seller and then blow it up. EXCELLENT SELLER! WOULD RUN OVER AGAIN! A++++ [Via]

HA! "And, surely, anytime anyone recalls the deeds of Bella Abzug, an angel gets its wings."

You may cluck your tongue, but imagine the sheer number of strollers there'd be if it weren't the case

This might be the greatest video of all time (which, I guess, made the rounds six months ago, but still): A Million Ways, by OK Go [Seen here]

What is making legions of young Japanese men retreat into their bedrooms and refuse to come out? [My guess? HENTAI!]

RIP Shelley Winters; hopefully to a better place where there are no riverbottoms or upturned luxury liners

HAY GUYS did u no that like an ounce of mercury weighs a pound!1!1!!!!1!!!!

An interesting story about the impression author photos leave on readers. I, myself, will never read a book by anyone more attractive than I am [Via]

Excellent roundup of Ferlin Husky mp3s

Strengthen Your Nipples! [Via]

The Bowflex: Not a total sham!

Seriously, the next person I hear say something is "crazy delicious" is getting punched in the throat.

If I have sex indoors with the lights off, at night, in front of windows with the blinds open...what are the chances of being spied on with night vision goggles?

Vidiot and friends take a magical mystery cocktail tour and I'm jealous

Take Back the Judith Light!

Pardon me. I don't pretend to speak for all feminists out there--heck, I don't even know what language some of them speak*--but I am of the opinion that we should be dancing in the fucking streets at the announcement that DISH Network has dropped the Lifetime Channel, not protesting the supposed injustice. What, precisely, are DISH subscribers losing here? How Clean Is Your House? Suddenly Susan? TERROR IN THE MALL!!?!?!?!**

What is the rationale for this call to arms? When they came for Mother May I Sleep With Danger I said nothing because I was not Tori Spelling.... No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No.

If middle-aged women in Middle America--who probably don't even consider themselves feminists--can't watch The Nanny on an endless loop all day, we will not be sliding down some slippery slope into a simulacra pre-Suffrage "rule of thumb" era. There are too many other things to worry about. These are trivialities. What's worse, they dilute and demean the work and the messages that NOW is trying to communicate.

Jesus.

*Yes, that is, as you suspected, a lame Breakfast Club reference.
**Please go read the second customer review: "Having lived through my own disaster at the mall (well, the parking lot, at least)..."

Ayelet Waldman, who seems to make a living writing about subjects that were hot six months ago, was also conned by JT Leroy! [Thanks to GMB, who is my personal JT LeRoy watchdog aggregator these days]

Constabulary Notes

Like a two-minute brother, I'm through! It was my quickest jury duty stint ever: after six hours and one voir dire, I was dismissed with the thanks of the court. The case I was questioned for was rape, sodomy, and first-degree burglary. Just like the title of my favorite Pogues album.

Anyhow, I was sent back to the jury pool to sit with 60 or so other people, 40 of whom were chosen to go to another voir dire. I looked around to see who was left. There was the mentally ill college professor who was sitting behind me during voir dire and whose constant nattering on about everything everyone said made me want to jump up from my swivel chair and punch him in the cock; there was the woman in the burka, also in my voir dire; there were the two Chinese people who barely spoke English, or were faking; there was the guy whose father-in-law was a federal prosecutor convicted of bribery; there was the grossly obese woman who was confined to a wheelchair and whose legs (amputated just below the knees) were covered with dirty bandages; and there was the woman who, it seems, had some connection to the mafia. And me. What does this say? It's not like I asked if the jury would be allowed to look at the trauma photos.

Fun fact: The offices for the Evangelista family's bail bonds business are right across the street from the court house. I loved that show.

In other good news, The Great Leader has returned. For how long? We don't know. Welcome back!

Go check out the Downtown Art Show at Grey Art Gallery. According to a friend of mine, last night's opening party was like a verse from "Losing My Edge"

N found this disturbing and wonderful Flickr photoset, and I don't know how and I'm not about to ask

Hot on the tail of the JT LeRoy revelations, The Smoking Gun busts James Frey's story into a million little pieces

13 1/2

Hey hey hey kids! Guess what tomorrow is! Tomorrow is the day that I am required to perform my service as a citizen of the United States of America. Yes; I begin jury duty. I get to travel to Kew Gardens, Queens, which sadly looks nothing like the famed Kew Gardens of West Sussex, and is mostly known for its parkways and the Kitty Genovese murder.

Although I've made it as far as voir dire in the past, I've never sat on an actual jury. This is not because I've gone out of my way to avoid it--that would be unethical, and maybe even illegal [ED FCTCHK]. See, the thing is, I carry the taint of just about every possible misdemeanor, not to mention a couple felonies, and when you add to that my love of the whole Law and Order franchise, prosecutors shit their pants and public defenders shrivel in their Today's Man suits.

And yet the menfolk still love me like a schoolboy loves his pie.

Anyhow, posting will be intermittent. We will return to regualr programming after justice is served.

Warren St. John, in an obvious attempt to prove he is not, in fact, dumber than a box of hair, has unmasked JT LeRoy as a woman! Imagine my surprise. (There she is, on the right)

Soul Sides has an excellent post on the Muscle Shoals sound (+ mp3s!)

7 i n c h p u n k posted the Last "Rights" "Hitler" 7"--get it while you can!

Y'know, my mother still leaves messages on my voicemail that say "Are you there? Pick up!" so I'm having a hard time believing this study [Via]

Brothel for Teh Ladies: Straight Ahead!

Wow, it's 6 days into 2006 and I haven't mocked Gothamist yet! Here goes: Nevermind the tortured syntax; They don't have a clue what "begging the question" means

The quality's rubbish and there ain't no sleeves

You'll notice that I didn't post a "Best-of" list for 2005. I'll tell you why: 1) Everyone knows that my favorite album, before it was recorded even, was the Silver Jews' Tanglewood Numbers; 2) My memory is terrible and it would be one of those situations where someone asks you what your favorite ice cream flavor is, and you capriciously answer "Peppermint Stick," even though it's at best only your seasonal favorite*, and then everytime you see that person they bring you a gallon tub of Peppermint Stick ice cream; 3) Why should my opinion matter to you, dicknose?

For that matter, why bother? What is the the future of music, anyhow?

RIP Lou Rawls

That flashpoint on the hood is actually the tortured spirit of Brian Jones trying to exorcise himself, Poltergeist-stylee, from this abomination

When it comes to charity, good samaritanism only goes so far these days [Via]

If you live in Williamsburg and can afford Prada shoes then you deserve to lose one

HA HA HA

This article is so astonishingly munged up that it's almost painful

Look, anyone who claims they've never contemplated strangling someone because the TV was too loud is lying, I tell you

The never-ending saga of JT LeRoy

In Nigeria, faith-healing pastors are preying on the desperation of HIV+ parishoners and swindling them out of money (and time)

Ali Smith's The Accidental has won the Whitbread. I'm actually reading it right now--it's very good--so expect a review sometime in the next fiscal year

What kind of douchebag goes to Kyoto for a year and thinks only about doughnuts, indeed? Also, since when is red bean paste edible?

Oh shit: Big Star bootlegs!

What makes a hit?

Where ya been?/ Watcha been doin'?/ What took ya so long?

We made our pilgrimage to Florida for the holidays and got back 5 days ago, and since then I have felt nothing but a resounding meh when I look at a computer screen. It's not that our vacation was unfun; it was actually better than expected, considering...oh...everything.

OK, two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it.

N and I started our holidays early with the exchange of presents before we left NY. I had sent out all the presents for la famiglia a week earlier because this year I OPERATED WITH RUTHLESS EFFICIENCY. This meant fewer things to carry, I figured, plus I was wary of overzealous airport people making me unwrap gifts in the airport.

No, instead, they stopped me at the X-ray machines, emptied the contents of my bag, and sent my box of tampons through the machine again, presumably because they looked like ammo.

Gayer Hairpieces Defy Detection!

"Dear Lord..."

That's progress: In Edmonton, only 13 sex workers have to die before the RCMP step in!

The likelihood of developing an eating disorder in adulthood may be increased by having had a complicated birth

"My ancestor gave me that opportunity so that I wouldn't sit on the couch and eat potato chips": That's all fine and good, Mr. Leavenworth, but what about the rest of us shiftless slobs?

Why the fuck is Chicago turning down Venezuelan oil?

Grant announces that "jumping the couch" is the slang of the year

Congrats, Greenpoint, on having the most dangerous SRO in the city