What you need is an imitation of home

As you can see from this exquisitely framed, expertly taken photograph, last night Tony and I went down to TriBeCa to see a play written and performed by David Berman, with special guest star Will Oldham. Sets by Steve Keene. It's amazing what you can glean from a truly great photo, isn't it?

What, like I'm supposed to believe the word of someone from Holliston?

I know how they feel: Zoo visitors stress gorillas

Shopcat!

CocoRosie - "Noah's Ark"

It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t reviewed a lot of women artists. That’s just sort of the way things have shaken out, but I figured I should take steps to balance things out a bit. As I was casting about for possible subjects, I recalled that I’d seen a lot of positive reviews of CocoRosie. I’d never actually heard them myself, but hey, it’s always a good idea to expand the boundaries, right? I’ve found some really good music by taking a chance on something based on word-of-mouth and/or reading reviews. (That’s why I do what I do here – I’d like to put a little something back, if you follow me.)

When I put the idea to Dana, she positively lit up. Well, OK, I don’t know if she really did that, since we live on opposite sides of the continent and mostly communicate through email. She did seem inordinately excited about the prospect, though, and all but demanded that I follow up.

Given the green light, I hopped on eMusic and downloaded the new album, Noah’s Ark.

Oh-OH New England!

N and I went to the Cape this weekend, for bidness. We stayed at the Sea Crest, which, as I am told, was once host to the best entertainment the Catskills had to offer. There was nothing of that sort when we arrived.

Christine Maggiore's 3-y-o daughter has died of AIDS-related pneumonia

Um, ok: Hank Shocklee interviews David Icke this weekend at ITC 2005

Someone give this guy a freakin' contract, okay?

Holy Moses: But the dead deer with an IV made it weird

David Berman interview from a German music magazine

Monkey weightlifting!

I found myself cheering for the "Bohemians," truthfully

Conflicts of Interest

One of the best things about being so brilliant and charming is that I am able to hand-select the people I surround myself with, a veritable postpostmodern Algonquin Round Table, only with much, much more drinking. As such, before I go on, I feel the need to point out that the following esteemed creative efforts, which I most enthusiastically endorse, are the brainchildren (brainchilds?) of people with whom I am somehow, shall we say, affiliated. This does not detract from their brilliance, though the fact that they'd want their names associated with #1HS does suggest questionable logic on their part. OK, enough with the caveats.

From the "If Thy Right Eye Offends Thee" Department...

Katrina Takes a Toll on Truth, News Accuracy

I weep for humanity: Survey says!: Music in ads is just fine [Via]

Wow, it's barely 10:30 and we've already got a winner for the creepiest Missed Connection posting of the day.

Go look at Eyejammie Gallery's online exhibit from their Adventures in the Dirty South show. (NB: There's a remix of "My Adidas" on the front page.)

Freakwater, "Thinking of You"

I'm terribly late with this review, but considering this is Freakwater's first album in six years, I guess I'm right on schedule. I've been listening to it for a month now and it's been burned in my mind. This is a good thing.

Office "Jungle" Mirrors Primate Behavior

This reminds me of a joke: What's the difference between an El Camino and an upright vacuum cleaner? The position of the dirtbag.

Brokeback Mountain: The Countdown Begins

Bloggers! Are you sitting on a CASH COW?!?

"The CFA has Mr Clewer's jacket and says it is continuing to give off voltage."

Oh, Grady.

Sorry.

I'm behind in my posting. Now I'm leaving for the weekend. Have a good one, and see you next week.

PS Have you read bmarkey's Ramones review? Well, you should.

Soi Disantra's Tanglewood Numbers review, part 2

My friend sjb is in Houston, because things aren't exciting enough here.

Gore for porn

Death to the Bugaboo!

Chico is a storyteller extraordinaire: Bye Bye To My Foot!

The Ramones - "Weird Tales of the Ramones"

“Teenage Lobotomy” is the single greatest rock & roll record ever made, bar none. From the opening beats of Tommy’s tom-tom and Joey’s “Lobotomy!” chant to the devastatingly abrupt finish, it is two minutes and one second of sonic perfection. C’mon, it’s got everything you could possibly want from the genre – sex (“all the girls are in love with me / I’m a teenage lobotomy”), drugs (“DDT did a job on me / now I am a real sickie”), violence (has anyone ever punished a guitar quite as fiercely as Johnny?), humor (“guess I’ll have to break the news / that I got no mind to lose”), poetry (“guess I’m gonna have to tell ‘em / that I got no cerebellum / I’m gonna get my Ph.D. / I’m a teenage lobotomy”). What else could you possibly want?

"Shoot Up and Swallow," or, My Teenage Years [Thanks, Bill!]

Gambian soccer fans don't fuck around [Via]

Haitlin just came by my office to point out that "current cultural zeitgeist" is, in her words, a "triple fucking tautology."

What's to blame for Katrina and Rita? Meth labs and polar bears, of course

First generic version of AIDS drug approved, but why the fuck should we have been forced to wait for the patent to expire in the first place?

Marilyn was a communist! Liberace was an inveterate gambler! And the Nazis want to kill everybody!

Things that blow my goddamned mind, #673: Gotti acquitted of racketeering, mistrial declared on Sliwa kidnapping

Outrageous.

Almost Before We Spoke, We Swore

I'm enthralled by this post. I want to know more.

Totally insensitive given the subject of the article but how cool would it be to have cockler as your job title?

Whoooohoo! MTA nixes drink & ride ban

THAT IS SOMETHING RIGHT THERE. [Scroll down a wee. Cardhouse, get permalinks!]

I wish they didn't set mirrors behind the bar

Found this photo in a shoebox with a bunch of paystubs and phone bills from 1995. (I never throw anything away.) A seemingly mundane photo, but full of import. The story's over there.

Truly the greatest hed in the history of time

PWNED!:Sounds of Typing Give Messages Away

Oh baby

I'm so tired. I don't know why. And I have too much work.

And you know what? Skirts have gotten really, really short. What up with that?

Have this: Signifying Rapper, Schooly D. (The original, not that bullshit cocksucker Jimmy Page court-ordered version.)

Ah yes, what LIC really needs is DONALD TRUMP

Why do we [read: I] like stories about fugitive bank robbers so much? This story appeals to me in particular. Punk rock.

Break a leg, Vince Neil!

"We should have known the things that Katrina brought out": John Hope Franklin on America's response to the inequities in Katrina's aftermath

Anthrax investigation reaches its four-year anniversary, and they still ain't solved shit

Rent Is Too Damn High political party members busted with a pellet gun at City Hall

"God doesn't exist": The return of Don'ts and Don'ts

"Why, I'm numb and shocked that 'yard apes' is offensive!"

O'Reilly is a cunt

Sometimes I feel like I can't even shop*

It's not often that I have two big-time celebrity sightings within 24 hours of each other! (Except for the time I saw Matt Damon sucking cock in the sauna at the gym two days in a row.) I'm a huuuuge starfucker**, so as you might imagine, the past two days have been rather auspicious.

"Authorities were probing whether a bitter feud between karaoke bars sparked firebombings of two Queens apartment buildings early yesterday, sources said." Just read that sentence over and over again.

Attention Gawker geniuses: The reason you get no Google image search results for "kate moss cocaine" is because crawls occur about as frequently as Halley's Comet sightings.

Alison Lapper Pregnant is unveiled in Trafalgar Square

Get 'em, Tom: "Apparently the highest compliment our culture grants artists nowadays is to be in an ad--ideally naked and purring on the hood of a new car."

It's 3:30. Have you ordered The Old Hag's caketrain chapbook yet?

Nonbelievers won't go: A quick guide to Christianity

Fascinating, painstakingly researched post on "Dark Was The Night--Cold Was The Ground" by Blind Willie Johnson

I'm sorry, what?

Turnin' rebellion into money

“Just out of art school, I was working for the music paper Melody Maker taking photos of three or more bands a week. Around the corner in Covent Garden was my attic ‘studio’ and darkroom—a tiny room with no heat and a bucket to catch the rain dripping through the hole in the ceiling. It was right in the centre of London, close to all the best clubs, pubs, and cafes, and my rent was $70 per month. Brilliant."

Janette Beckman's Made in the UK book launch and exhibition opening is tonight at powerHouse Books. She's taken most of the memorable portraits of the punk/new-no wave/two-tone/mod scene in London. The online gallery is here if, for some reason, you don't feel like going, but then you'd be missing out on the free Newcastle and Level Vodka [???] at the party tonight. (Corporate sponsorship ROCKS.)

All Tomorrow's Party - "Yoo Doo Right, Yoo Doo Slide"

The press release that came with my copy of Yoo Doo Right, Yoo Doo Slide, the new album from All Tomorrow’s Party, mentions that singer/guitarist Tetsuro Kitame has been called “the Asian Jim Morrison”. Having heard the disc in question, I have to wonder what sort of drugs were involved in the making of that statement. For one thing, his writing is not nearly pretentious enough to qualify. Also, his voice is nothing like that of the Bozo Dionysus – he really sounds like the guy from Fountains of Wayne at times. So that generated a little head-scratching.

The gays have spoken: "We can now say, 'Shaq has our back.'"

"This is very surprising," said neighbor Maria Goubadsos, 34. "He looked like a very macho man."

Space Monkey Flight Pants! [Via]

Mmmm....smoked puffin

Soi Disantra's Tanglewood Numbers review, Part 1 of 2 (and yes, it really is that good)

Rick Moody, "The Diviners"

This is ordinarily where a review would be my long-awaited review of Rick Moody's new book. I was supposed to write it this weekend. Instead I found myself drinking from king cans of Bud with mystery objects floating inside and gnawing on chicken bones. I promise it'll be here soon. Here it IS, BIZNATCHES!

Oh, and [SPOILER ALERT!] by the way, I freakin' loved it. Unlike everyone else.

Pith

A few points, because I'm feeling sparse:

• Mary-Kate leaves NYU. I still haven't seen her. Ever. Isn't there some sort of weight requirement? Do we need to enroll a cocker spaniel or some other sorta mid-size creature to balance out the absence?


• Terry Richardson is recognizable even from behind. And it's not like I saw his nutsack hanging out of his pants or anything.
• When a greater celebrity (say, hypothetically, Matt Damon) and a lesser celebrity (say, a supporting cast member of a Star Trek offshoot) are in the same room at the gym, the lesser celebrity will retreat, acknowledging the alpha male. He retreats into the locker room, pitifully. Observing this, I felt like Marty Stouffer, only on a treadmill.

"This is a frightening situation": Katrina displaces thousands with HIV

This is some bullshit right here

Lesser-Known Editing and Proofreading Marks [Via]

Garison Keillor vs. the Prairie Ho Companion

11 kids found caged in Ohio foster home

Bob Mould, "Body of Song"

Bob Mould has never been the edgiest of post-punk icons. Throughout his career, from his debut in the 80s with Hüsker Dü, through the Sugar records and solo work of the 90s, Mould has always favored a pop flavor over the raw energy of some of his contemporaries. So it's no surprise that Body of Song (Yep Roc), Mould's return to his roots (after the sojourn into electronica that was 2002's Modulate) is actually more of a return to the middle.

In 27 (+ 3) years, I've drunk 50,000 beers

Hey hey! This 30 thing ain't so bad. For one, no one can ask me what I want to do with my career anymore. Now they can just assume I'm wildly unambitious! It's great.

Friday night was the big Birthday Soiree for Me and Chris-the-Neighbor at TEN63. (Our dear friend A permitted us to use it afterhours and we are forever in her debt, in ways she won't discover until the, ah, heating unit vents get kicked into service.)(I had no idea I could throw salami slices with such accuracy.)

An amazing eyewitness photo essay from a resident of the French Quarter

Kingsbury Manx - "The Fast Rise and Fall of the South"

Summer is slowly drawing to a close. For people like me who can’t stand the heat (and the accompanying short tempers it tends to inspire in all and sundry), this is a great boon. Frankly, fall cannot come fast enough.

I understand that I am in the minority here. For most of you, the end of summer is something of a drag. It signals the end of vacation, the return to school, the switch from alchopop to malt liquor. And while I don’t share your pain, I do sympathize. (Which is more than some of you can muster for those of us who do not welcome the return of the Big Light In The Sky every June. Let’s be honest.) So, in the spirit of public service, I offer a few coping tactics for the autumnophobic among you:

The Stooges, Mudhoney @ Memorial Stadium, Seattle, 9/5/05

So. The Stooges. Well, they rocked. Duh.

Let’s go back to the beginning of the day so’s I can sorta make some kind of sense out of my reactions. For those of you unfamiliar with Bumbershoot, it’s a yearly music festival (they call it an arts festival, but 99% of the folks there are looking for music) held over the Labor Day weekend. It’s something of a big deal here in Seattle.

The best Eastern Bloc subtitled gay porn EVAR! [Via]

Chico went to the Jandek show and all he got was this lousy button.

This year's Project Censored list

Dictionaraoke!

Can the Administration hide an entire city?

My love is a flower

One of the presents N gave me for my birthday is a Phalaenopsis orchid. Supposedly they are easy to care for, but I must admit its mere presence strikes a grim chord in my heart. I once managed to kill a ficus. God help this poor plant.

This orchid could be construed as a test subject for my facility with childrearing. Now that would certainly ignite jubilant celebration in some parts of la famiglia, but as I said at Christmas last year, I've got 6 years left on this IUD and I'll be damned if I don't get my money's worth out of it.

P.S. I know #1HS has been short on the reviews lately, but just you wait. We've got Freakwater! We've got Rick Moody! We've got your momma!

[He] aimed his gun at our faces, screaming, "Get off the fucking freeway": A first-person account of the days after Katrina hit

Wish I'd read this BEFORE last night's debacle: When Sex Fantasies Turn Lethal

Brazen baboons have been mugging shoppers

For the love of god, people, it's 2005 and if I have to read the phrase Blogs (short for "web logs") one more time someone better hide the freaking knives

A HA HA! A HOO HOO! A HA HA HA: "SuicideGirls just want to have fun. And celebrate their individuality."

PayPal sucks

Duke students tell of "disgraceful scene"

Bond, Mississippi: Too small to be noticed

In what must truly be an occasion for the record books, Gothamist plumbs the depths of banality

This is fucking criminal [Via Reeves]

What happens when Barbara uses her beautiful mind

When you look into the beer garden, the beer garden looks into you

This weekend N and I went upstate.

Monkey sweetness and light

Thank heavens for Don'ts and Don'ts

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? [Via]

I have nothing to say, and I am saying it

I'm sure that everyone's already headed out to their beachhouses, and I am mentally headed out to my imaginary beachhouse, which actually looks a lot like Bellevue and is crawling with spiders, and so I have nothing left to say. Things you should do this weekend: Donate to the Red Cross, drink lots of beer, and if you're going to be around on Monday night, head over to the 13th Annual John Cage Birthday Tribute at St. Mark’s Church, at 7:30. I've gone to this before and once I got to sit next to Merce Cunningham, who doesn't smell nearly as bad as you'd think, judging by the looks of him.

Anyhow, I have the whiskey shits, as per usual, so I'ma wrap this up. Ta!

Dang: RL Burnside, November 21, 1926 - September 1, 2005

Lake Cuomo, presumably an offshoot of the Faccie de Merdi River

Chimp Genome: REVEALED!

Ain't no party once we crash the party

My neighbor and I share the same exact almost-to-the-minute birthday. It's a little uncanny. We have a number of things in common, actually, and I would think we were twins separated at birth except he clearly comes from tall, clear skin, effortlessly thin stock.

So last night he, his girl and I sat around and tried to plan our joint birthday party. Chris was in charge of nothing else but taking notes and looking nice. The gf and I traded suggestions about which beer was better--Utica Club or Olympia--and which hoagie shop had the best 15-foot-long baloney and mustard subs.

Today I'm looking at his notes and all that he wrote down is "NOISEMAKERS, COCAINE" and a crudely drawn set of boobs.

Alcoholism:
Funny and sad,
like a clown having an abortion.

Jesus: Shots fired during Superdome evacuation

Subway perv perp-walked!