Ciao brutto

So in just over 24 hours we depart for Italy, to stay with the Great Leader and Her Greatness, J. I have crapped 17 times this morning because as a Virgo I am governed by my bowels or something and right now I fear that everything will go horribly wrong. I know for certain that we will fall victim to a dishonest cabdriver as it's happened to two people I know, one of whom even blogged about it, apparently because he has no shame. In addition, we will get some sort of parasite that will make us crippled with the backdoor trots--it's inevitable, especially in a city like Rome, with its open sewers and marauding bands of cannibal children.

Finally, we will be set upon by an angry mob. The Great Leader is begging us to bring "The Old Glory." N said we will if he can find a bulletproof model. I said we'd compromise and bring a Canadian flag.

So, this is a buildup to say that I'll be ghost for a couple of weeks, unless I run out of churches and art to look at. My copilot bmarkey will be here, however, and there are completely unsubstantiated rumors that Reeves might show up too.

Wish me luck that I might not crap my pants--and, thus, lose my fix--at la dogana. I'll be back in July with photos from the beach, if you know what I mean. (<---boobies)