Vincent Gallo: Like God and syphillis, he is everywhereCelebrity sightings in NYC, a place where fully 34% of the population is famous, are kind of too commonplace to get excited about, unless they're in some curious or salacious context (eg, Anderson Cooper at the Phoenix* or Ben Affleck taking a shit at Enid's** or Grady Sizemore in a jockstrap jumping up and down on my bed.***)(Oh, and Grady, I'm also planning on doling out some punishment after last night's game. Jesus). Still, if I had to pick, Vincent Gallo is probably my favorite "celebrity" sighting. This is not merely because I think he's a terrific douchebag. It's because I truly believe that he has some metaphysical ability to be in five places at once. It's something like the Caine-Hackman Theory. Either that, or he's so desperate to be relevant that he's hitting the pavement every day, pressing the flesh and kissing babies. Whatever. I've seen him pretty much everywhere in this town, and sometimes at the same time that someone's seeing him elsewhere. Yesterday's VG sighting was a watershed moment, however, because it's the first time I've heard him talking. Standing on the corner of Bleecker and Charles, waiting for the walk sign, I noticed who I thought was some Emo Neckbeard with a bicycle, leaning against a building. But then I overheard the familiar whiny Western NY State accent (go-ween, do-een). I looked over again. Vincent cast a furtive glance at me and continued haranguing the person on the other end of his cellphone. I wondered if perhaps he was asking Natasha Lyonne to house-sit. But then the sign said WALK, so I walked. What can you do? *True. Posted by Dana at 10:36 AM
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great post - I enjoyed reading it...
especially
"today's friends are tomorrow's thieves"
...man, that's harsh.
Posted by: Emily at June 15, 2006 12:26 AMHey, at least he's got something worth stealing.
Most world-class douchebags can't say that about themselves.
Posted by: slinkybender at June 15, 2006 09:06 AMSo, is it true that Ben Affleck's shit does not stink?
Posted by: Jimmy Beck at June 15, 2006 11:20 AMVincent Gallo? Grease him up and put him in unfashionable clothes and he'll blend in with the rest of those dudes trying to score dope at Port Authority
Posted by: mee to at June 15, 2006 11:34 AMTrue that. My partner, who has only been in New York twice in the last ten years, saw Vincent Gallo both times. In 2004 he saw Gallo eating a falafel in a little joint near NYU. And then he saw him again on June 11, 2006 walking with another grungy guy and two beautiful waifs. Allen was so excited to see VG each time, but now we understand from Dana that it's no big deal since VG is always everywhere.
Posted by: at June 15, 2006 05:46 PMI actually saw him in his penthouse on Friday night. Boy was it a great experience. I tell no lies. If you want the whole story, it'll cost you.
Posted by: at June 16, 2006 12:48 PM