(Whoa. I only made it through the first seventeen grafs of that. Ok, so instead, "What is the future of DANA's music?")

Well first off, I can tell you what won't be in my future: Seeing the Silver Jews live. No, I didn't listen to these folks and rush out and buy tickets because, as usual, I balked at the extortionate TicketWeb Fee For Nothing At All and thought I'll get around to buying tickets after I'm no longer $500 in the hole from Christmas.

Well, that sure as hell didn't happen. Tried to get tickets and was told (figuratively) to go shit in my hat. This only ruined a portion of my day.

On the plus side: I did get tickets to the Wedding Present show at Maxwell's in March, something I missed out on last year for the very same reasons I didn't get SJ tickets. Yes, like a slow child, I just don't learn. Incidentally, Take Fountain is definitely in my nonexistent top ten for 2005 list and I think you should check it out if you haven't already.

The thing I am most eagerly anticipating after that is the forthcoming Sway record. I cannot tell you the tsuris I've gone through trying to get his Promo and Demo albums. I've been outbid on eBay (and am currently bidding a king's ransom as we speak) and denied by various UK online retailers (who apparently ran out of stock). This of course makes me want it more. So of course I found what I could on LimeWire, which makes the new Sway single "Download," the first that I've legally procured, even funnier. But listen, Sway: That goddamned record better be released here in the US of A or else I'm going to travel to London and pull some serious King of Comedy shit on you.

In other sort-of music news, I've been listening to the latest Will Oldham, Summer in the Southeast. I can't say that it makes it into my top five, but it might just squeak into the top ten. So, Will's starring in a new movie called Old Joy that just got picked up and is now going to Sundance. Because I am privleged and have seen a pre-pre-preview copy of it, I will tell you that it's a very strange buddy movie about what happens when you grow up and grow apart from your friends and then decide to go camping with them. And also you get to see Will's weiner, if that's your thing. So this, too, is in my future because I really need to watch it again, though not for the weiner part.

Listen: if I *were* to make an arbitrary top-ten-of-2005 list, I would probably also include the recordings of the Charming Snakes, the Hot Snakes, and Sleater-Kinney. Oh, and probably LCD Soundsystem. Maybe Iron and Wine. Honorable mention to Damien Marley (suck it, haterz) and The Witches.

There you go, dicknose: It's my Top Seven-Best-of-Ten-of-2005!

Admin note: Some of you may have noticed that I owe you an email. This is because my brand-new DMZ file has about 1,200 emails in it. I'm very sorry.

*Speaking of seasonal favorites, does anyone remember Ben and Jerry's Sugar Plum Fairy? It was plum ice cream with a caramel swirl. It was on the market for about five minutes ten years ago and man do I wish I had stocked up on it. But, like my favorite toothpaste and my favorite tampons, it was discontinued and it's all because They want to quash me because I HAVE UNPOPULAR OPINIONS.