The Raft of the Medusa, Or, My Morning Commute
As far as public transit-less commuting goes, the only thing separating me and my place of work is a river and 34 blocks. Last night, I told my superiors that I would be "telecommuting," thinking it a reasonable solution. No dice. The email from on high read: "It is incumbent upon every member of the company workforce to be present and accounted for. We have set up cots in the gym for those of you who cannot, otherwise, make it to work." To which I replied--well, to the computer screen, not to the VP himself--"You can kiss my ass in two places." Ho-ho, I ain't comin' into work, no way. This morning, however, a combination of guilt, fear, and a paucity of coffee in the house led N and me to the Water Taxi, which until today existed (in my mind, at least) as a novelty, something slightly better than those swan-shaped paddle boats they have in Boston. The Water Taxi has enough upholstered seats for 75 people, and a conductor (?) who looks unnervingly like Tom Sizemore. When a man two rows in front of us was whining to him about How will I get down to Wall Street? I don't know where I'm going! I could tell by the look in the conductor's eye that he was thisclose to grabbing him by his lapels, spitting on him, and shouting "Shut up, you fucking vagina." After disembarking from the ferry I wandered a few blocks until I found the designated Company Shuttlebus Stop. Although none of the bus drivers knew where they were going, or when, the buses were at least heated. The median age of the bus passengers was 70, which made me feel both bad for kvetching at all about getting to work and also really depressed at the glimpse of my future. So it turns out that I'm one of four people who made it here. And I have no one to complain to about that except for you people. Posted by Dana at 11:02 AM
|
Little Man with a Gun in His Hand
Shuttle buses? Cots?
Jeez, y'all are farting through silk down there. Our "strike contingency plan" consisted of "You better get to work on time."
Posted by: Vidiot at December 21, 2005 10:48 AM