In another oddly synchronous turn of events, last night I received a book I loaned out three years ago, called Wrong's What I Do Best. The loaning took place at the only full-fledged, 50-people-crammed-into-the-room, mistletoe-and-all-that xmas party I've ever helped throw.

It's funny, because I hadn't even read the book, but my friend's friend O was bored by the party and looking through my bookshelves. His main interest is metal (seriously, he's the only person I ever met who still went to L'Amours in Brooklyn), so I was surprised when I saw him flipping through it. "You like country?" I slurred. "Oh man, I love it. Waylon and Willie are my favorites. Can I borrow this?"

And of course I lent it to him, because he said the two magic words.

After that night, I would occasionally see O on the street, and we'd say hi, but there'd be no mention of the book. After awhile, we stopped even saying hi, because, frankly, what's the point of acknowledging someone you barely know, book or not?*

Flash forward to last night, when I met up with our mutual friend at the Bar With the Fireplace. "Guess what I brought for you!" she exclaimed.

"An xmas present?"

"No! Even more compelling!"

I knew exactly what it was she was talking about. "Yeah, I bumped into O the other night and he gave it to me."

"Shit, I threw out the dust cover for this two years ago." I'd figured it was gone daddy gone.

"Yeah, he also asked about you. Wanted to know if you were seeing anyone. I told him he missed that gravy train long ago!"

Marriage aside: As if I'd *ever* consider dating someone who took three years to return a book.

Anyhow, I hope the Amazon package arrives sometime before 2009.

*I realized that I'd become fully NYC-enculturated when I developed the habit of ignoring people I know on the street. It pains me that I've become so blase about it, but, y'know, don't we all have enough friends anyhow?