The turnout was spectacular, especially since half the invitees on my guest list were imaginary. I think people had fun. There were a few letdowns: 1) I didn't vomit down the front of my dress, as promised (in fact, the only liquid I was doused with all evening belonged to N and Chris*); 2) We actually ran out of beer (except for the Genny Cream Ale. Oh, that lasted till the very end); 3) No one would join me in any birthday krumping.

I got waaaaay more presents than I deserved, BTW, including 4 bottles of brown liquor, two lovely pairs of earrings, a book about rodeo girls,** some deliciously shiny lipgloss, and some swank toiletries to wash my stank ass.

The great thing about Genny Cream Ale (All hail kraeusening!), which was my exclusive beverage for the first 3/4 of the evening (and the first 18 years of my life, come to think of it), is that you can drink it for hours on end and feel no ill effects, until the next morning when your lower GI becomes a breached slurry tank and what comes out of your body resembles the aftermath of a weekend cod-liver-oil-and-kale bender.

Once we ran out of beer, the stragglers gathered up the brown liquor and we headed to the roof of our apartment building. Miraculously, no one fell off, and thank heavens all the patio furniture had already been tossed off the roof weeks ago. Because that was the first idea that popped into some people's heads.

It was the eight fingers of bourbon swigged straight from the bottle (which was passed around to everyone in attendance--Don't worry! I just had my Hep booster!) that finally sent me trudging back downstairs to take a bath and go to bed. (It occurs to me now that drunken baths are a good way to Night-of-the-Hunter yourself. Live and learn!)

Anyhow, go check out the glamorous attendees (and a few close-call blue pics) on the photoset. And listen to this while you do it.

*Dropped beer and arc'd vodka tonic (see documentation here), respectively. What? What did you think I meant?

**Wherein I learned my new favorite saying, "If it's got tits or tires, it's gonna give you trouble."