Shit from an Old Notebook
August 24, 2005
11 Comments

A game we all can play

So Tom and I, we were having this discussion about...I think it started out with Chuck Klosterman? Am unclear on exacts. Fingernail extraction was involved.

As you know, I never grow tired of mocking him. (Maybe that's because he's the male equivalent of a chick-lit author? Oh man, that was too easy.)

I was thinking how one of the most mockworthy things about Chuck is his generally creepy fashion choices. It was then that I had my eureka moment, right as I was tabbing back and forth between Ed's recent post and one of my daily haunts: Wouldn't it be fun to play a game called "Serial Killer or Rock Critic"?

Yes. Yes it would.

Did you know it's harder to find photos of rock critics than to find photos of serial killers? And that the serial killers are the better-looking bunch? Anyhow, I'm pleased with the results. Can you identify all six? (No cheating.)

Serial Killer or Rock Critic?

sk7.jpg

Speaking on a CMJ panel? Or speaking to his collection of excised vulvas?

sk9.jpg

Newest intern at Pitchfork? Or mounting interns on pitchforks?

sk4.jpg

Backstage at the Mekons show? Or under his back porch digging a hole?

sk8.jpg

Mindnumbing? Or skullfucking?

sk6.jpg

Lipstick traces? Or mitochondrial DNA traces?

sk0.jpg

Psychotic reactions? Or PSYCHOTIC REACTIONS?

Disclaimer of sorts: 1) This is not meant to malign, slander, libel, or impugn the character of anyone involved. 2) Yeah, I *know* who wrote Lipstick Traces and who *really* had a collection of vulvas. It's poetic license. 3) No, I *don't* have permission to use *any* of these photos. You gonna snitch?

Posted by Dana at 12:36 PM

Comments

I've said it before, but you're a fucking genius.

Posted by: Tom at August 24, 2005 04:32 PM

He's right, y'know.

Posted by: jpoulos at August 24, 2005 05:27 PM

hilarious!

Posted by: kate at August 24, 2005 06:23 PM

Nice one. It was worth the trouble to steal the photos.

I'm starting a new jar of vulvas and I want yours to be first!

Posted by: Sweet FA at August 25, 2005 09:15 AM

So they finally found a picture of Chuck Klosterman without spittle coming down his chin? Dude, I'm impressed.

Posted by: Neal at August 25, 2005 10:47 AM

this klosterman fellow, he writes things? about music or something?

Posted by: reeves at August 25, 2005 01:16 PM

Awesome. Don't forget: Klosterman is, quite simply and almost literally, an ass. His soft, saggy face bears a disturbing resemblance to a 50-year-old man’s failing, hairless back end. His tiny, red mouth is a sphincter twisting to a pained close 40 seconds after taking a brutal pounding from Peter North.

Posted by: max at August 25, 2005 02:42 PM

This needs to be a series. Give me Greil Marcus, Jon Pareles and JD Considine.

Posted by: Jimmy Beck at August 25, 2005 08:38 PM

There are no known photos of Jon Pareles in the wild!

Posted by: dana at August 25, 2005 10:31 PM

Don't forget this one
http://marcspitz.com/about.html

Posted by: Alex at August 29, 2005 02:58 PM

Alex, MS and I went to the same school. That motherfucker still owes me $40 from a deposit on a keg he never returned to the distributor.

Posted by: dana at August 29, 2005 03:00 PM