Given that the best bands are always the cutest ones with the best background narrative, the Kings of Leon are the avant garde of modern rock.

Okay, before I veer off into lame critical sarcastic smugness, I want to say flat out that I think their music is boring. [Ed note: This makes Chris the perfect critical addition to the already-cranky #1HS staff] It consists of very straightforward, midtempo chord progressions with obligatory and flaccid guitar solos. All of it is old hat. The songs are cookie-cut from classic rock radio and sprinkled with that adorable angsty vibe that's popular amongst the youth.

Oh, the emotion: where does it all come from? Must be from the South. Yet I couldn't hear any screamin' or bullwhips crackin'. In fact, the kiddy emo-Skynrd combo that Kings of Leon churned out created a perfect harmony between the crowd last night at the Roseland that consisted of either pot-bellied middle-aged rock dudes or young exuberant Green Day guys and gals. I think the bassist was wearing a leather vest. It was hard to see through the rise and fall of pumping fists in front of me. Yucky.

The best experience of the night was when I asked the kid with the As I Lay Dying (umm...band from San Diego) t-shirt if he thought we should take the womenfolk up over yonder before the high water took back the soil.

Chris Lentz is my neighbor. He is a self-described failed and bitter ex-rock star pushing 30 who now enjoys squat-thrusting to the Eagles. Oh, and he was blurbed in Our Band Could Be Your Life.