This Just In: Broccoli Gives You AIDS

So it turns out that sunshine may actually be good for you.

That's great. But it doesn't lessen the fear that this mole developing on my right cheek isn't going to become terribly cancerous, necessitating that I have surgery that makes me look like that poor fucker who tried committing suicide after listening to "Stained Class" but only managed to blow off half his face.