Maximum Stretch Capacity as measured by the Flux Capacitor

A good friend of mine who cares about my vaginal well-being sent me a link to The Vagina Institute, a helpful organization that allows you to determine whether or not your womanhood more closely resembles a lotus flower or the Super Deluxe Extra Fatty Corned Beef Sandwich from the 2nd Avenue Deli. If this site is to be believed, a lot of men prefer ladies to resemble those plastic models used in Hygiene class. There's even a test on the site to see if you measure up. [WARNING: NSFW--any of it.]

Now, my chocha is closer to this than this, but there are those who will tell you otherwise.

True story about my gigantic pudendum: When I was in college, a friend--one to whom I was not even remotely attracted, sadly--and I had sex one night, probably because we were bored. This was in his apartment, which was in this Melrose Place-style warren of converted nun-apartments where a mutual friend of ours also lived. After it was over, we each told our mutual friend all about how lousy the sex was. Separately, of course. I remember complaining that he had a micropenis. "I could have told you that," mutual friend said.

Anyhow, the Tiny Man moved out of his apartment and another friend of ours moved in. A polite Southern boy, he admitted that he found something written in his closet-- an inscription (poem? Haiku? Something.) that he refused to disclose. He insisted I come see it myself.

It read:

Her first name is Dana
Her last name begins with an R
She has a huge pussy
May she be fucked by donkeys.

I still think fondly about that.