I have no dog in this fight

Well, I had no dog in the original King Wenclas-vs-Tom Bissell fight, mostly because I would be hard pressed to give a shit about either of these malodorous ninnies, but when Ninny Number One starts talking smack about Maud Newton, that's when I start throwin' some 'bows. If he wants to play, I will shock him like a Chinatown cellphone, mark my words.
So now I do have a dog. In the fight. Where was I?

Clearly, King Wenclas displays such truculent behavior because his interaction with women closely mirrors the flower-throwing scene in the original Frankenstein movie, and we all know how that turned out. I'm also going to go out on a limb here and say he probably describes his writing as "Ford Madox Ford meets Raymond Carver, only with BALLS." Given these two purely conjectural, borderline slanderous character flaws I've just outlined, is there any doubt that this man's judgement is, to put it nicely, impaired? He will never successfully besmirtch the name of Ms. Newton, and he better recognize this and back the fuck down.

But on the other hand, I gotta admit, everthing this one has to say is pretty spot on. Baby blood drinker!