FWD: The Abyss Looks Into U!!1!My aunt, who is on the state payroll, I might add, has been sending me the most banal email forwards all day. They're the equivalent of paintings of wolves on velvet, Franzia, and the Starlight Vocal Band, rolled into one. Anyhow, I wanted to share one with you.
More different = MORE SPECIAL! Viz: Jocelyn Wildenstein
No, I'm sorry, that's impossible. Anyhow, you have seagulls in your ear, darling. It is a fragile thread that binds seagulls to your ear.
It was this image that reassured me that I'd made the right choice, starring in that bestiality porn my junior year in college.
I had a dream once about a leopard sleeping on top of me with a dolphin sleeping on top of him. Oddly enough, it was during my junior year.
"Where have you been?" "Crazytown!" "Where are you going?" "Signs point to Batshitville!"
"Hey, that email you just sent me? The one that ground our servers to a halt because of the gigantic jpegs?" "Yeah?" "I'M SENDING IT BACK TO YOU, FRIEND." Posted by Dana at 10:38 PM
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Little Man with a Gun in His Hand
Can't you block her e-mails? Jesus fucking christ, they hurt.
Posted by: gmb at January 23, 2005 11:25 PMyour aunt is fucking awesome.
way the fuck ahead of the curve.
everyone's all "I'M TOO COOL FOR TIGERS AND LEOPARDS AND FUCKING DOLPHINS"
well guess what?
MAYBE DOLPHINS AND AIRBRUSHED T-SHIRTS AND LIFE COACHES ARE TOO COOL FOR YOU>
but not i.
why, just today i bought the most bad-ass dolphin shirt ever.
i don't know if dolphins have teeth, because I've spent the last six to eight years of my life foolishly believing that they sort of suck, but these dolphins -- the ones in the shirt -- have a fuckin mouthful, and they're grinning like they just shit in your bed.
it's pretty rad.
More different = MORE SPECIAL! Viz: Jocelyn Wildenstein....
Didn't I see her on that Bad Plastic Surgery website?
Posted by: tizzie at January 24, 2005 09:40 AMokay, that one about the dreams? with the lady sleeping, and the cougar or whatever, and the other lady peeking over the top of the cougar? what's on that last lady's head? jelly? a squid? ectoplasm? i think it might be the key to deciphering just what the hell that little homily or haiku or slogan is supposed to be about.
Posted by: patrick at January 24, 2005 09:46 AMMore different = MORE SPECIAL! Viz: Jocelyn Wildenstein....
Didn't I see her on that Bad Plastic Surgery website?
I saw her in the, er, flesh, once. I kept expecting her face to just split open down the middle like a squashed grape.
Holy shit, I just snarfed Diet Pepsi up my nose. Too funny.
Reminds me of despair.com.
Posted by: Vidiot at January 24, 2005 02:37 PMMy high school girlfriend -- the Stevie-Nicks-obsessed, Wiccan one -- would have loved all of those.
Actually, the artwork looks a lot like Johanna's.
Posted by: Max at January 24, 2005 02:46 PMWait, I see Johanna's name on #4! Awesome.
Posted by: Max at January 24, 2005 02:48 PMSo that's where the polvo lions went. I don't know who this other Max is, but he has good taste in bad art.
Posted by: max at January 24, 2005 06:30 PM
dude, you made my kong ass night.
and fuck dolphins.
tll
Posted by: tll at January 25, 2005 10:29 PM