How many children have we known like this?

Y'know, I thought my xmas was a little weird and disfunctional, what with my mother dropping every single potato on the floor before serving it and me breaking the news to her that I'm sure as shit moving to another country sometime soon*, but damn if Bad News Hughes doesn't have us beat.

*Slight exaggeration. I'll only be disconnecting my phone and putting tinfoil up on the windows of my apartment.