My other car is a vagina full of centipedes*Sometimes a news article offers more than just the news. Sometimes, it offers us a delicate strand of bagatelles. Bagatelles that are too beautiful not to share. Altered tag is a felony in first arrest of its kind: Calling it "the lowest form of human endeavor," [Ed: !] Suffolk County Sheriff Alfred Tisch last month vowed police would crack down on drivers using altered, forged and fake handicapped parking permits - and, for the first time, charge them with felonies instead of merely issuing them a summons....Now, is there a parking permit for people with mental handicaps? What's the minimum IQ permitted to get a driver's license? It sounds like the car dealership took advantage of the poor Caggianos, goading the two cretins into buying that Suburban. ("See this leather? It's soft! Soft like a doggie!") I mean, I'm only assuming that the Caggianos suffer from mental handicaps given that they're stupid enough to park their illegal-pharmaceuticals-filled SUV in the handicapped spot in front of a courthouse. I feel such pity for them...to think they fell through the cracks in the system for this long! *Viz.:this. Seanbaby in origin? I don't know. Posted by Dana at 02:01 PM
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Little Man with a Gun in His Hand"They think they got Ma Barker here."
Was he scratching his crotch when he said it? Because I totally can picture that.
Posted by: tizzie at December 16, 2004 07:53 PMParking in handicapped spots when you are not handicapped may be one of the lowest forms of casual selfishness that exists. If I was King (and it's probably best that I'm not), punishment for such would be summary execution, followed by decapitation of the offender and their head (and accompanying neck tissue, as needed) would be hung from one of those weirdly recurved bike storage hooks from the bottom of the sign and left to automummify in the heat as a warning. Once completely dessicated, the head would be removed and given to polo players in Florida to use as a practice wump, and a small but indelible skull-and-bones would be affixed to the sign itself.
Posted by: Fes at December 17, 2004 09:40 AMUpon reading the article (which in Kingly fashion I am typically loathe to do, I might add): this woman would be a perfect candidate for my policies - heavy on the neck tissue, boys!
"2001" to "2007" indeed - I will bet you a BAZILLION DOLLARS that her fartass husband learned the forgery trade changing his F's in PE to B's on his report card.
Posted by: Fes at December 17, 2004 09:45 AM