seriously.

perhaps we'd be more cognisent if men stopped clubbing us over the head and dragging us around by our hair all the time.

i have a recurring dream involving this evil blond ditz:

we're at my joint. first she's like, "i wanna ride your left-wing love rocket" and i'm like "yeah baby, take it all off, show me your neo-liberal trade policies, show me that scar heston gave you." then she strips. she's a little scrawny, but okay. i lead her to the bed. she lies down in the middle of it, all nekkid, grabs a titty and says "i gotta monopoly you can regulate, big boy." i say okay, tell her to close her eyes, which she does obediently (as one might surmise from her political affiliation). then, just when she thinks i'm going to give her the action, i grab the edges of the comforter, gather them together and hoist her like a hefty bag, and toss her out my window into traffic, where she is repeatedly run over by rastafied $1 vans on schermerhorn.

she is dead.

i smile, light a cigarette, speak directly into camera: "now that's what i call patriotism."

fade out.

I, for one, know I can barely feed and dress myself I'm so retarded.

But I'm smart enough to know better than to get ruffled by Ann Fucking Coulter.

hey, reeves, i was gonna ask what you were doing this weekend, but now i'm just gonna back away slowly.....

I was going door-to-door on a campaign once, and a woman at one of the houses told me "I don't think women should even be allowed to vote."

I walked away thinking I'd heard it all.

Apparently not.