HopalongIn the past week, I've seen three doctors. The first one told me that I'm too crazy to go off meds ("HA! But I've been crazy all my life, but only medicated for a year...Riddle me THAT, Batman," I replied). The second one decided that I either have cunt cancer or an alien invader. (More tests to follow!) Now the third one tells me I need orthotics. Which happen to cost $350. Fuck that noise; I'm 29, there's no reason why I'd need orthotics. I think it's foot cancer. It's spread from my cunt. On my way to the doctor's I saw Eric Nies gaying it up on Astor Place. On my way back, I saw Matt Damon only 10 yards from that very spot. Coincidence? I think not. A homeless man flung an avocado peel at me from a church stoop. It slimed my sneakers. Where am I, the fucking Amazon? Perhaps if I were more flight of foot I could have dodged it. Kudos to him for his aim, and for choosing such a nutrient-packed meal. He must've read the Post this morning. Hopefully he shat on it thereafter. Posted by Dana at 02:47 PM
|
Shit from an Old Notebooknow see, if only you'd had those orthotics.
Posted by: ;o at September 14, 2004 04:10 PMEric Nies? That's a blast from the past... As far as I am concerned, Matt Damon can gay it up wherever he wants, yum.
Posted by: wild honey at September 14, 2004 05:01 PMMatt Damon is so obviously gay anyway, I can't believe he sets off even a frisson of "target: hetero!" taboo-instigated mistiness.
I'm sorry: "cunt cancer"??? I consider myself reasonably unflappable, but that phrase has a certain eye-goggling whipsmack to it. I certainly hope your pretties are feeling less put upon.
Posted by: Fes at September 15, 2004 01:24 AMToetwatitis, that's what I think. In France, of course, it is pied a puss.
Posted by: tizzie at September 15, 2004 08:17 AM...this song is not a rebel song. This song is Cancer, Cunty Cancer.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken at September 16, 2004 02:41 AM