number one hit song: I Believe the Stars Are the Headlights of Angels

August 25, 2004

I Believe the Stars Are the Headlights of Angels

Or, What I Did on my Summer Vacation.

Weaning yourself off of prescription drugs is always a challenge. As with quitting smoking, a number of daily obstacles and minor tragedies force you to question whether this was the right week, etc. etc. But, you know, there's never the right week. Until ibogaine gets legalized, I guess.

But wow, wow indeed. I don't like feeling unhappy, but I do like *feeling*. After the next few weeks of bursting into tears at my desk, I'm sure I'll end up doing better than I did before. Because the past year and a half, I've just been content doing nothing. I wasn't enjoying reading, or writing, or doing anything that was intellectually taxing. Plus, my memory was truly suffering. The past six months I've been having trouble remembering what I ate for lunch. I mean, I know that I did *eat* lunch, but it would take me a few minutes of retracing my steps, and sometimes looking in my garbage can, to remind myself of what it was I consumed. I've also, on many occasions, forgotten to return emails. It was too difficult to recapture what it was I meant to say, to remember what I'd already said, to recall what I'd done.

Well, fuck that with a brick.* In the past three days, I finished reading my best friend's excellent novel (After years of us joking around with the mutual greeting of "So, how's your novel?" one of us can actually put her money where her mouth is. Not that I expected to win that particular race.) and have started reading two other books--Cheever and Dubus III--with a great deal of happiness and enjoyment. Yay for words.

Also I am reading the Frommer's Guide to Costa Rica and planning a trip for November.

Finally, I am set to kick off my month-long birthday celebration starting this Saturday at meat heaven. I am planning on wearing a white dress. It should be a fun, intimate affair, as meals involving unlimited red meat served on flaming swords usually are, and this time I know not to get meat goggles and flirt with the waiters.

Those of you who'd like to be part of the 29th Birthday Sale-a-Bration can contact me directly. As the name suggests, I get cheaper as the weeks wear on.

Posted by Dana at 10:52 AM

Comments

Dana, who do you know who wrote a novel? It sure isn't me.

As to the SSRIs (if I'm assuming correctly), I'm _never_ coming off. Hooray for pharmacology.

Posted by: Jamie at August 25, 2004 11:36 AM

See, now if you weren't hopped up on Lexipro you'd remember that you have written a novel.

And you'll get my pills from me when you pry them from my...

um....

what was I saying again?

Posted by: jpoulos at August 25, 2004 11:49 AM

mmmmmmmmmmm...pillzzzzzzzz...

Posted by: reeves at August 25, 2004 12:39 PM

Oh sure, go to the *safe* Central American country...

Posted by: ufez at August 25, 2004 01:45 PM

Safer than Texas, anyway.

And good on you for all that other stuff.

Posted by: tizzie at August 25, 2004 02:07 PM

I came off drugs this summer too. GOD, WAS THAT THE WORST WAY TO SPEND A SUMMER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME AND SPACE. Now I am on a different drug, thanks.

Hope you are doing better, in any case.

Posted by: O.H. at August 25, 2004 03:45 PM

Two cheers for freedom from Lexapro. And imagine what you can do with that extra 45 minutes a day!

Posted by: j-go at August 25, 2004 03:50 PM

Um, thanks for the kind words. But 45 minutes a day? What am I, Italian?

Posted by: dana at August 25, 2004 03:54 PM

hello - i just stumbled onto your blog via cup of chicha, but i totally recognize the SSRI redux. i recently got myself off effexor (it took almost 5 months, and i blogged about it extensively at http://brainzaps.tblog.com), and i can really relate to the pudding-brained, forgetful feeling once i hit dosages above 150mg/day. *shudder* i've been through 5 other meds before that and i STILL think about trying other meds, ugh - but for now i'm just me, even with the more-frequent-than-i'd-like teariness and anxiety. hang in there.

Posted by: denise at August 25, 2004 04:28 PM

oh denise, lexapro withdrawal ain't nothing compared to effexor withdrawal. you're a brave gal.

Posted by: dana at August 25, 2004 04:57 PM

Well this is great. All of you guys have blogs AND willpower. Me? I have nothing except a lot of lethargy and a sugar addiction, and I'm pretty sure being addicted to sugar should have dealth with the lethargy.

But now I will force myself to socialise with others, just to use the term "meat goggles". You've given me hope! Sorta.

Posted by: salmonberry at August 25, 2004 05:41 PM

Heh.

I've just gone on prescription drugs. OK, it's only nexium, but still, once again I'm bucking trends.

Dig me, I'm an iconoclast.

Posted by: jonmc at August 25, 2004 07:55 PM

i should be pullin in the early part of the party. hope to ketch you before you get tired.
just my luck to get up there when you STOP takin drugs.the meat thing, though. that's a lotta trouble to get up to for bbq.

Posted by: red clay at August 25, 2004 10:12 PM

Ohhhh, THOSE kinds of pills.

I was thinking you'd finally kicked that nasty Oxycontin habit cold turkey.

Good to know you are still rocking the Ox.

Posted by: brittney at August 26, 2004 01:58 AM

Hmm. Maybe I will write a novel.

Posted by: Jamie at August 26, 2004 09:48 AM

Heh. I just guessed it was Lexapro. A couple of summers ago I tried to go off Celexa. I nearly took out an entire McDonald's with nothing but a cell phone charger and the shards of a shattered Death Cab for Cutie CD. Tune in next year, when I try to go off the Lexapro.

Posted by: jpoulos at August 26, 2004 10:45 AM