GodDAMN the pusher manI'm beginning to wonder if the proprietor of The Victory, a little coffee shop on the corner of State and Hoyt in Boerum Hill, puts an aphrodisiac in his coffee. Because I have fallen deeply in lust with him. Now, the coffee itself is pretty good, if a little pricey. And he's a totally adorable guy with grey hair and tattoos and a sweet midwestern manner. And he has excellent musical taste. But it's more than that--when he hands me my coffee, I feel as though he's offering a bit of himself to me. "This is my blood, partake of it." He makes me want to be a better man, if only momentarily. I wonder if addicts ever fall in love with their dealers? But now I'm sad, because there are rumors that The Victory might be closing. Where will you go, Mister LoverCoffeeMan? Posted by Dana at 09:18 AM
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Shit from an Old NotebookWhile I too inhale coffee from The Victory as if it were sweet, sweet crackrock, I've noticed the hesitant eye contact, seen the faint brush of his hand over yours as he slides your latte across the counter, literally smelt the burst of pheremones in the air as soon as you walk through that door. Oh no sweetie. He HAD to go.
Posted by: umm, excuse me? at April 29, 2004 10:02 AMi'm staying out of this one. i don't go to the victory, because the cute girls at flying saucer call me babyface and flirt with me relentlessly. i'm still deep into my instant coffee phase (the immediate gratification is doubleplusgood, yo) but they make a mean 10-vegetable soup, and the cutie clientele can't be beat. can't tell if the laptop is a plus or a minus for me, but i do try not to sit there and play civilization III until my battery croaks... just in case. instead, i just pretend to write things.
Posted by: they're-grrrrrreeves at April 29, 2004 11:43 AM10 vegetable soup? I can only think of about 9 vegetables I like and 4 of them are potatoes.
Y'all are lucky with your coffeeshops though, I gets no love from the Pakistani woman at the Twin Donut and they address me as "Whaat?"
Posted by: jonmc at April 29, 2004 12:03 PMreeves, the only nice thing about Flying Saucer is that they appear to have a policy of hiring the retarded. For that, they should win some community award. But seriously, I waited 20 minutes for a latte there. I shall not return.
Posted by: dana at April 29, 2004 12:19 PMTwin Donut ... pakistani woman?
I know that place too, in Astoria. right?
nice family.
Yep, 31st St., just south of Ditmars. I always get the friendly guy with no bottom teeth, though.
Posted by: Vidiot at April 29, 2004 01:49 PMJon, sounds ike the woman yelling "Whaat?" at you has your number. Sounds like you are bewitched by her brusqueness; her single-entendre draws you in, makes you grab a cup even when you're already too wired to think straight.
I'd yell back, "Whaddayou lookin' at?" and then smile devilishly and give her the finger.
She'll be yours, jon, all yours. Extra coffee, the freshest donuts from the top of the fryer, you'll be golden, man. Gol-fucking-den.
(I have a 16-year old Mexican girl who serves me a lovely, pungent cup of coffee I can chew, and she's nice and all, but I'm looking for a better joint at my stop.)
Posted by: Chico at April 29, 2004 03:06 PMhey, i didn't say the staff at flying saucer wasn't retarded, they often forget that i enjoy lettuce and tomato on my bagel. but there's not many places i can go where i know i'll be treated with the dignity and respect someone of my hotness deserves. but you're right about the wait, they're buried in customers these days... lissome, honey-limbed customers who make me wanna cry into their watermelon-smellin' hair. goddamn the light.
Posted by: they're-grrrrrreeves at April 29, 2004 03:23 PMchico, are you speaking of the Acupolco Grocery on 30th just befor Crescent? I always buy spicy peanuts and blue soda there.
Plus it's where I found this emotionally affecting piece of chocolate.
Posted by: jonmc at April 29, 2004 03:46 PM
And I've decided: "Itchycoo Park" is the theme music in heaven. Just in case you were wondering.
Posted by: jonmc at April 29, 2004 03:58 PMchico, are you speaking of the Acupolco Grocery on 30th just before Crescent?
Yep. She's a sweetheart, but not enough to get all R. Kelly up in her thang, knowmsayin.
I'm sure they play some shit like Dido in heaven. No doubt I'll wish I was in hell, and not in that creepy Billy Joel "Only The Good Die Young" way. (Fucker can't drive water through a fucking garden hose.)
Posted by: Chico at April 30, 2004 04:05 PMbilly joel drives fine. he's just depressed.
one of his caring friends needs to give him a gun.
"lissome, honey-limbed customers who make me wanna cry into their watermelon-smellin' hair. goddamn the light. "
cryin into their watermelon hair?
does that work up there?
down here, we just say
"honey. what color car you want?"