The lake is cracking, it hears me quacking

For the record, I am not hung up on going to the prom. The unedited spiel, as I recall (which is not well, as I'd spent the entire afternoon prior to the interview drinking bloody marys. A fragment of said interview appears here), had something to do with the ratio of men to women bloggers, which is by my estimation 5:1. This translates into the fact that in the eyes of male bloggers, the novelty of female bloggers elevates me to the exaggerated level of supermodel-cum-Nobel-prizewinner status. Simply put, there is Real World Hot, and there is Blog Hot. In the blogosphere (written with eyes rolling, for those of you sarcasm-impaired Daily News readers), I am Fran Fucking Lebowitz and Alan Greenspan in the body of Jenna Jameson. The compliments, the linkage, the occasional adoration from my male counterparts: THAT's what's gratifying.

Of course, as hubristic as that sounds, it wasn't said entirely seriously. I mean, I had lots of dates in high school. HereIType can confirm that I did sleep with the whole soccer team at her school.

At the end of the interview, my cell phone battery blinking "LOW", Rick thanked me for my time and mentioned that we'd never met in person and how would he recognize me at the celebratory blogger party. "Oh, look for the gorgeous woman surrounded by dozens of doting men," I replied.