Every night I tell myself I am the cosmosThe Old Hag has kindly posted the entire Salon "Anonyblogger" article so the rest of us don't have to suffer through some frickin' Valtrex ad or something. Is this shite what passes for journalism these days? Here's a taste: And a quick scan of TMFTML will turn up a recent spoof of a column written by Christopher Hitchens for Vanity Fair that paints him as an anti-Semite who believes Jews have horns, and who doesn't know how to spell 'yarmulke.' TMFTML likes to swipe at the predictable media targets -- Peggy Noonan, Tina Brown, Michael Wolff -- but is distinguished in his desire to take the long knives out for writers whose names only the most obsessed mediaphiles would recognize (and whose gigs, a reader's left to guess, he may covet dearly). Not long ago he wrote elaborately of how a freelance writer for the Times, whose stories he disliked, should 'die, ideally in the most painful and protracted manner possible.'OK, if you, the reader, don't believe that bloggers have a right to anonymity, whatever. You're entitled to your hairbrained opinion.* But if you can't see the difference between a site like Media Whores Online and TMF,TML--the former being a clearinghouse for all sorts of juicy bits of media gossip, the latter being something we in the business like to call SATIRE--then you apparently are dumber than a box of hair. Or, you're a Salon Fellow. Has Farah even read TMF,TML? Or did someone tip him off to the site a half-hour before he had to turn in this piece? Anyhow, in addition to Lizzie's commentary, Soundbitten has a more cogent take than I do. Actually, pretty everyone, with the exception of Ol' Dirty Bastard, has a more cogent take on everything than I do. I'm just angry, is all. *But seriously, fuck you. I don't get paid to write this blog. And I certainly don't get paid to be stalked, which is precisely what can happen when you reveal your identity. Heck, I'm only semianonymous and I have some jamoke in England I've never met posting photos of me on a site I have no connection to. So yeah, nevermind the fact that my employers don't like me slacking on the clock. I, personally, like to walk home every night not worrying about whether I'm going to be greeted by some crazy on my doorstep who will read me a 400-stanza love poem right before he penetrates me with a broken beer bottle. So, in short: I don't owe you anything. Oh, and: Get fucked in hell, Farah. And maybe take a Journo Bootcamp 101 class at MediaBistro. Posted by Dana at 10:58 AM
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And I certainly don't get paid to be stalked, which is precisely what can happen when you reveal your identity.
An alternative to anonymity is to be so unpleasant, vituperative or boring that people won't wanna stalk you. I try to be all three. It's worked for me so far.
Posted by: jonmc at February 4, 2004 01:05 PMThat you think so just means I'm good at it, jon.
You should have worn underwear today. Cold out.
Posted by: dong resin at February 4, 2004 01:23 PMBut the bra straps and the garters leave welts, dong.
Posted by: jonmc at February 4, 2004 01:37 PMHey, that's true, you *are* still semi-anonymous. I forgot about that.
Posted by: Maud at February 4, 2004 02:17 PMMaud, I am vaguely threatened by the tone of your comment. Are you trying to extort me with threats of....karaoke photos?
Posted by: dana at February 4, 2004 02:31 PMSpeaking of which, Dana, how can you not be coming? You MUST come -- I am going to sing jazz standards for you! All while furtively massaging Dong's head!
Cuz you are coming up, Dong, right?
Don't tease me with promises of dong.
::sigh::
It's looking more and more like I will be here. I've been thwarted in my attempts to procure an affordable ticket to a warmer clime. I swear to god, if Cleveland were 80 degrees right now, I'd even go *there.*
Cheers on your motherfucking dead-on **** business. Gawd I love smart people.
Posted by: jess at February 4, 2004 06:14 PMI won't post the karaoke photos if you show up on karaoke night.
Actually, I was just realizing that you & Emma are both kinda anonymous & I left you off a short list I posted on my site last night. So I went back & changed it.
Posted by: Maud at February 4, 2004 10:09 PMYay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Dong, you must get one of the $47 tickets and join us as well. I feel quite sure you're very thin OR very fat.
Or perhaps bald!
(Which are all good, if that wasn't clear)
Posted by: Old Hag at February 4, 2004 10:15 PMNo, just the rickets.
Posted by: dong resin at February 5, 2004 11:38 AMI'm going to have to visit the local karaeoke speakeasy, tonight, and pretend you're there. I bet watching the Old Hag sing is more fun than just ogling Japanese gansters as they snort blow off of naked teenagers. Sigh.
Meanwhile, I'm cranky, so I'll correct your idiom usage: harebrained = dumb as a box of hair.