January 29, 2004
5 Comments

I need a beer and it's titty-squeezin' time

This weather has me so bummed out that I can't even get excited about the Sweet Action release party, which is tonight and which could ostensibly be a lot of fun. The Liminal Liberal is supposed to be accompanying me, but her Kiwi boyfriend may or may not be returning home tonite. Honey, I know how it is. I had a Kiwi once. Once. The accent alone is drool-worthy.

Am currently engaged in a dispassionate IM conversation diagramming and deconstructing one of my favorite jokes, the one whose punchline is Fuck you, clown. If you haven't heard the joke, you'd be amazed how many variants there are out there.

Anyhow, it's funnier when you don't put it in a headlock. I reckon many would dispute even that. You have to be in the right mood is all. Which I am not.

This weather ruins even porn and dumb jokes. I am half expecting to come home tonight to find This Weather scratching all my Willie Nelson records and telling me offhandedly that all my exboyfriends are achieving great success. Bastard.

Posted by Dana at 10:10 AM

Comments

Kiwis are a buncha fruits.

Posted by: jonmc at January 29, 2004 11:01 AM

The clown joke is the 'Fesser's all-time favorite. Perhaps his best recounting of it was when we were in New Orleans for a conference in the same hotel as "ExotiCon." He got to tell it to a buxom gal in a merry widow and fishnets. At midnight. On his birthday. We missed the goth wedding in the ballroom, but it was worth it.

Do any of your versions involve the boy getting a degree in getting back at a clown?

Posted by: cinetrix at January 29, 2004 12:21 PM

Yeah, cinetrix, I've heard a couple versions. There's the one where he goes to college to learn quick-witted retorts, another when he goes to lawschool and becomes a world-famous trial attorney (my favorite, fwiw), and one where he becomes a world-famous magician. What version do you know?

Posted by: dana at January 29, 2004 01:44 PM

The details vary depending on how impatient the listener becomes. I do know that in every telling the boy who loved the circus has clown sheets, clown posters, and a clown clock with the clock bit in the clown's belly. Once he's told for the first time that he's a horse's ass, he runs home [many many miles] and tears everything down and burns it, I think. His education comes up intermittently. And he's usually v. old and quavery-voiced by the time he goes back to the circus.

I've sent this link to the 'Fesser, who may weigh in himself.

Posted by: cinetrix at January 29, 2004 02:12 PM

Due to visa problems, kiwi boy won't be in until Saturday morning -- so if yr still up for some sweet action, I surely am. Otherwise, I will practice my French at my local library's conversation group. No shitting.

Posted by: The Liminal Liberal at January 29, 2004 02:33 PM