It's not all double-fisting and Manolos

Because "sex industry blogging is the new black," and because she forever has her finger on the pulse of all that is au courant, Eurotrash has decided to offer up her diary of a callgirl:

Yes, I am remarkably beautiful, and yes, I have a PhD in nuclear physics, but I feel the need to be free and I am lazy so I am a call girl. Which people, who often faint in the street at the sight of my beauty, would find it hard to believe. I tell them I am a nanny, albeit an extraordinarily beautiful one.

"He wants you to stand and shit on his coffee table while he lies under it, watching," she said.

I sighed wearily.

"You know I don't do extreme degredation, because that is icky and my middle-class literati readers will not appreciate seeing it in my award-winning, but in no way obviously pornographic blog. I cannot afford to alienate my audience. People will think I'm just a prostitute then. I'm not a prostitute, I'm a meme, a cultural movement, on the cusp of the zeitgeist."