Tragedy is when I cut my finger...

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Exactly what is my problem? I haven't had my finger up my nose this much since my freshman year of college. And I'm suffering the consequences: blood. Blood and scabs.

It started out with this cold I had over the holidays, coupled with some supremely dry air in my apartment. Initially, I just wanted to keep the passages clean.

Then it became an obession. I began to suffer phantom booger syndrome.

And now I've lost all sense of shame about it, going to town like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, right there on the subway or at my desk, whether there's anything in there or not. The inside of my nose looks like Dresden right now.