number one hit song: Now, let's take a look at your boils!

December 19, 2003

Now, let's take a look at your boils!

That's my new favorite holiday greeting. My dermatologist introduced me to it. As usual, he gave me a prescription for my blemishes. I never have filled it in the past, seeing as my pimples are one of the only things that makes me look younger than I really am.

And, no skin cancer yet. So I got that goin' on too.

On my way back to work I popped into a kiddie boutique to pick up some xmas gifts for my pregnant friend. I never thought I'd find myself buying something called a Winkel that wasn't some sort of wind-up, hopping penis.

While I was shopping at Bumblesticks and Hootenanny (or whatever the fuckin' name of the place was) I was struck by the similarities between kiddie boutiques and sex shops:

Bright colored plastic.
Everything nontoxic.
And waterproof.
And squeaky.
Lots of pirate- and ballerina-themed stuff.
And women in dirndl skirts.

I left with the realization that I will never look at those deranged animal-themed sex toys the same again, particularly after purchasing an item that bore some resemblance to them, but in addition featured a rattle and "can be put into fridge to cool for ease in teething."

Posted by Dana at 02:21 PM

I think people generally underestimate the power of chilled toys. (shiver)

Also: Winkel? As a thing you would buy? In the Benelux countries, a winkel is a place in which you might buy a thing. Which means that you could move to Amsterdam, say, and open a Winkel Winkel.
That kind of sounds like a good idea.

Posted by: Jessica at December 20, 2003 01:33 AM

Maybe it's a sign of my current exile into the land of Mr. Mom, but to me, this is the most useful thing you've posted in months. Because when drooling, mewling, tooth-cutting heaps of one's DNA are underfoot, the allure of a great new chillable chewtoy can not be overstated.

Winkels for all, and to all, a good night.

Posted by: j-go at December 20, 2003 08:46 PM

Oh, and:
+ that sinister hot pink found only in Barbies gear and on porn boxes;
+ the shrinkwrapped reading material;
+ the mysterious fluids on the floor;
+ the puzzling assortments of shiny jewelry;
+ and the fact that you don't want to touch anything therein without wearing new latex gloves.

Some assembly required. Batteries not included.

Posted by: j-go at December 20, 2003 08:55 PM