The more appropriate response would be to look right at them and say, "Only a dog wants a bone, honey."

One can take some solace in the fact that one or both of them will probably be killed in a workplace shootout. "Jason died with his Abercrombie & Fitch Euro-style men's carryall in his hand..."

Also: headband? What the fuck is that? Is he Olivia Newton-John?

Girls, Fes. They were girls.

*blink*

Oh. Well, ah, yes then. There you go.

What they meant was "I can't believe he's enlightened enough to make such a wise choice." Right??

Mike's marrying a fat girl?

The headband is for holding her hair when she pukes - a frequent occurence in the daily life of the Marketing Coordinator. All the skinny debs that visited the dental office I managed in college had exfoliating incisors, from their bulemia habits; later, when I worked with some of them, I learned that they prefer Mc Donald's for lunch - and top everything off with a milkshake - because it comes up easy. Mm!

No, people just mustn't be allowed to say such insensitive, inappropriate things amongst themselves in a private conversation. They must be forcibly reeducated until they agree that obesity is a marvellous thing and should be promoted at all costs, because it is much more important that evesdropping bloggers not be offended by oblique references to unrealistic body images than for the aformentioned Mike to be disgusted by waking up next to a beached whale every day.