I'm going to set fire to your glamour

Last night I attended an xmas party where I knew no one, which is usually the best kind of party. I stuffed a wheel of brie into my purse, slipped a dark-eyed gamine the tongue under the mistletoe, and performed ablutions in the punch bowl. I also told the treasurer of the building's co-op board which apartments sold the best skag.

When I walked over to the mulled wine I was approached by a tall blond woman. "Have you ever skied in Europe?" she asked, by way of introduction. For a moment I thought she was making some allusion to cocaine. I debated the merits of each withering reply that popped rapidfire into my head, and just said no. God bless us, everyone!