I got no hole for my pole, I'd fuck a mink stoleWe're gonna do this weekend in reverse, okay? So I got home last night to find an invite to my high school reunion. I would like to know who gave out my address. I think I need to lay some ground rules with my mother. The reunion is being held at the VFW Hall the Saturday after thanxgiving. Am I going? You fuckin' betcha. Having run into 20 or so porcine and rapidly aging classmates at the local bar, I can say with utmost certainty that I will be the best looking one there. So of course I'm going. Yes, I really am this vain. Because this girl (like others, too, apparently) is still just a little bitter about high school. Not Carrie White bitter, but bitter nonetheless (Note: the bob is an asymetrical wedge in the back. The cord around my neck is ::groan:: a rune.):
Posted by Dana at 11:47 AM
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Shit from an Old Notebook
After the "hello, where do you live, and what do you do's" are done everyone will break off into the same cliques they were in then. The people who hated you then will hate you know for succeeding/looking better. One of the main reasons that I'm in NYC is that I'm guaranteed not to run into any of the panoply of meatpies from high school.
But then again at some point in the blur that was friday night, I was drunkenly knockin' fists with three porky 30+ guys in Venom tees and waxing rhapsodic about raven albums.
You might say I'm conflicted.
Posted by: jon "little ray of sunshine" mc at October 13, 2003 12:06 PMchrist, jon, you gonna tell me there's no tooth fairy next?
Posted by: dana at October 13, 2003 12:10 PMI certainly hope not. I've got an extraction on thursday and I could use the dime.
Posted by: jon "the toothless wonder" mc at October 13, 2003 12:20 PMMy tenth-anniversary high school reunion was a pleasant surprise. I had a blast.
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 12:25 PMAnd may I say, Dana, that you have honkin' big brass ones to post your high school yearbook photo on a widely-read Website.
(Though I just looked at the napkin pictures and see no evidence of big honkin' brass ones. I'm confused now.)
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 12:27 PMTrust me, my yearbook pic is worse. I have a mullet, my adams apple looks like a goiter, and I'm wearing a skinny black tie. Vidiot and chico have seen it. Thank goodness they airbrushed the zits out.
Posted by: jon "fashion plate" mc at October 13, 2003 01:09 PMOmigod...where did you get my sophomore yearbook pic?
Posted by: Old Hag at October 13, 2003 01:30 PMI "worn" an ankh? WORN?
I suppose that's further proof of my sketchy public school education.
Posted by: brittney at October 13, 2003 01:36 PMTrust me, my yearbook pic is worse.
Thanks, jon. Thanks a lot. That happens to be the only flattering photo taken of me, years 1988-92, inclusive.
Posted by: dana at October 13, 2003 01:42 PMYou're picture's great as always. I was just seizing an opportunity for self-mockery.
Posted by: jon "foot muncher" mc at October 13, 2003 01:52 PMIt's okay, Dana. I think there's one -- count 'em, ONE -- semi-flattering picture taken of me since I turned oh, maybe ten or so.
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 02:02 PMWould that one picture be the infamous "leiderhosen" pic?
Posted by: jon "foot muncher" mc at October 13, 2003 02:08 PMNo, I said flattering. And the lederhosen pic was when I was three. And no, there are no copies floating around.
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 02:23 PMAnd if you see a recent picture of me wearing lederhosen, it's been Photoshopped and is a fake.
(At least I hope to God that it's a fake.)
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 02:24 PMOh, c'mon. We know you love to get your oompah on. Besides, all my flattering pictures were baby pictures. I peaked around age 7. It's sad really. But that was a great year, the kickball especially.
Posted by: jon "cynic, sadist, sentimentalist" mc at October 13, 2003 02:26 PMawww, we're just digressing.
Posted by: jon "abashed" mc at October 13, 2003 02:35 PMBy the way, I notice that Dana didn't rise to the bait.
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 03:15 PMvidiot, fuck a whole buncha Jonathan Franzens. And fuck anyone who looks like 'im.
And listen you two, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Shoo! Git!
Posted by: dana at October 13, 2003 03:32 PMFine, whatever. I've been thrown out of finer blogs than this.
**walks out door with bottle hidden under coat**
Posted by: jon "blackballed" mc at October 13, 2003 03:35 PM*ankles for the exit, pausing to throw a defiant look toward a certain napkin-covered blogger in the corner*
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 03:37 PMExcuse me, boys, but I'll have to ask you to kindly leave the ashtrays behind. And the coatrack.
Posted by: dana at October 13, 2003 03:40 PMThat's not the coatrack. We're just glad to see you.
Posted by: jon "excited" mc at October 13, 2003 03:41 PMJon, there's a difference between blackballed and blueballed.
Posted by: Vidiot at October 13, 2003 03:54 PM*whistles*
Posted by: adampsyche at October 13, 2003 09:19 PMI second adampsyche's comment, but for a different reason...I now know that the hot pics from shoutouts are no mere abberation. [/flirt]
Posted by: notsnot at October 14, 2003 02:02 AMUnusual ideas can make enemies.
You are free and that is why you are lost.
Posted by: Grindle Alex at December 10, 2003 12:36 PMEveryone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
Posted by: Schinder Neal at December 10, 2003 12:36 PM