The Roar of the Masses Could Be Farts
October 07, 2003
2 Comments

Girls the night will bury you

Har! Over at Zulkey.com, we've got all sorts of Chick Lit. They make it look so easy:

Things were fabulous!  The club was fabulous!  Fabulous!

"Ooooh!" squealed Natasha, "Hi-yeee!"

Yes, there was Veronica, slurping a fabulous mojito bleu.  She drummed her French tips on the bar's brushed steel countertop.  Her baby-blue eyes squinted in recognition.

"Natash," she slurred.  "Ohmigod."

"Ha ha!" shrieked Natasha, tossing her shiny black hair over her shoulder.  Arnold had scampered off to electric slide along the dance floor, just as sassy as could be. 

"Ha ha!" agreed Veronica.

"Thump thump!" cried the music.  "Tchaka tchaka!"

The other day I was in the Union Square Barnes and Noble with my best friend J, who just got her MFA in creative writing from Columbia. We scanned the New Arrivals table, eyebrows furrowed in unison. "I swear to Christ," she said. "If I see one more goddamned book with a whimsically drawn martini glass or high-heeled shoe on the cover, I am going to hurl it like a fucking pink scimitar into Children's Books."

(via Maud, who, like me, writes only about fishing vessels and bullfights.)

Posted by Dana at 09:55 AM

Comments

What's even odder is the impression of New York those books might give to someone living in like Knoxville or something; that all new york women are matini-slugging fashionistas in estrogen overdrive, which I can tell you from experience is the furthest thing from the truth. Maybe gals will move here for the adventure and screwing the plumber and the UPS guy (everywhere I've worked, there's some girl wants to screwthe UPS guy). Or coversely some poor mook from Dubuque will come here looking for Carrie and her cohorts and wind up with Tina/Gina/Rina from B'hurst.

Posted by: jonmc at October 7, 2003 10:37 AM

let me know when you start writing about cuba.

Posted by: fishfucker at October 9, 2003 02:37 PM