Mr. Impound

I had my car towed away today by Mr. Impound of Elmhurst, Queens. I waited for him to give me my Top Dollar Guaranteed, but he laughed and said, "What'm I gonna do with this piece of shit?" I pointed out that it still had a lot of good parts. He shrugged. (Note to self: Get the money *before* performing fellatio.)

I mean, really. I thought I was at least gonna get a little bit of beer money. But no, fucked without a kiss.

Whatever. This afternoon was fun, as I was interviewed for my friend's documentary about women artists in NYC. People looked at me like I was somebody famous. Actually, I'm just someone who can talk for hours on end by myself. (Act surprised. No, really. Do it!) Part of me really enjoyed it. I got to spiel about Women Artists. I think I may have made some enemies today, but my hair was perfect. And isn't that what a woman's all about anyway, right?

So, a few things about my new digs here. You'll notice that I'm using my Christian name. It's Dana. That's my name. I'm okay with that. My folks thought I was gonna be a boy (and hey, they might've been right after all, given my penchant for porn and Skoal), so they only picked out boy's names. Bruce and Damian. Yeah, they were drunk.

Dana was a sorta last-minute free-throw deal, right after the epidural kicked in.

So, there's that out of the way.

Second, here's the provenance of the web address, and hence the title. My favorite band is the Minutemen. Lead singer D. Boon was my adolescent hero. One of the songs off Double Nickels on the Dime is called "Number One Hit Song," and it's essentially gibberish.

On the back of a winged horse.
Through the sky pearly gray.
Love is leaflike.
You and me, baby.
Twinkle twinkle. Blah blah blah. E! T! C!

Wow, there's all these spiffy templates that "ship with" Movable Type, but they don't have any built-in prewritten interesting posts, do they? More some other time. In the interim, please enjoy these lovely factory-direct fonts and colors. I will probably be changing them shortly.

Finally, none of this would be possible without the patient, prodding, altruistic assistance of dong_resin. He will likely hate me for shattering his exquisitely preened vitriolic, carbuncular veneer, but man was he helpful and stuff. Seriously, Thanks Be to Dong. It was totally worth the daily hams pressed on glass photos I promised him for the next five years.